The shift in friendships and the effort required to maintain these friendships after high school presents every individual with a harsh push into adulthood. But, once you’ve eased into life outside of the high school institution, the more subtle differences in adult social situations over the once familiar childhood social dynamics become increasingly more apparent. Making a new childhood friend held a steady and basic rhythm, and that noticing that this rhythm can no longer be relied upon only seems to happen when you make an adult acquaintance and realize that you don’t know exactly how to proceed. These are the inevitable steps in making a new friend as an adult:
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1. Meeting
Take a moment to think of your best friends throughout your childhood and where you first met these people. Neighborhood pals, classmates, and playground buddies are a thing of the past now that you are an adult. The playground has been swapped for the bar, the elementary school classroom is now the workplace or occasionally the lecture hall, and suddenly social media has become the equivalent of the neighborhood.
2. Introduction
“Hi, my name is huifuierqnuifge” Did she just say Stacey? Stacey, Stephanie, Stella, George? Who knows at this point? As a child, you were bound to figure out everyone’s names because you probably were making friends somewhere that had an attendance call. In the adult world you will receive no help from your camp guidance counselors with this one so it’s time to ask this new acquaintance’s name once again and write it down in your phone before you forget.
3. Facebook Friendship
Whether it’s a drunken Facebook friendship request or the tenth time chatting at work, the Facebook friendship is the pivotal point in a new relationship. This social networking “add” says “I care enough to see the selfies of you with your cat,” “I may invite you to a party of some sort in the future,” and “Is it too soon to start tagging you in memes?” Your Facebook friendship opens your new relationship up to many new opportunities of communication.
4. Hang out
Now, if you met at a party and then proceed to see this acquaintance at more parties, this does not count as a turning point in your friendship. The turning point in your friendship is when you meet at a party and then decide to hit the gym together. Once you spend time with someone outside of the realm in which you first met this person, then you are no longer just acquaintances or Facebook friends, but actual real life adult friends.
5. The Choice
Frankly, having friends while trying to be a successful (ish) adult can be seen as a huge inconvenience. While childhood friendships are formed mainly based on convenience, proximity, and lets be real, boredom, adulthood friendship should be based on a genuine enjoyment of this other person’s company. Eventually, as an adult, you will realize that maintaining your friendship is not always convenient and this is when you choose to let the friendship thrive or simply fade away.