Lessons Our Parents Taught Us

When I was younger and imagined what the future would be like, I always pictured flying cars, this unimaginable independence and freedom, and faucets that poured soda instead of water. When I was four, what excited me most about the future was the intriguing notion that I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But more specifically, I was looking forward to the day I could earn my own money, so I could buy all the candy I wanted. I determined that the principle endeavour of my future self would be to buy a jar of peanut butter and eat THE WHOLE THING. 

Growing up, we tend to think we’re invincible. And as such, we do stupid things. Thanks to our parents, or guardians, we have someone to remind us that it’s not a good idea to eat the WHOLE JAR of peanut butter, to ALWAYS wear a helmet (if you want to live, anyway), be responsible and compassionate, say please and thank you, go to school, and never, ever, no matter what, take candy from a stranger (unless it’s Halloween). 

Parents are incredible. They do so much for us, and everything we have, everything we know and everything we love is a result of their actions. While, at the time, the lessons they teach us seem unfair or stupid, they’re not. Rather, the lessons our parents teach us are prominent precursors to the development of our personalities. And no matter how grown up we think we are, we will always need their strength and guidance. 

Here are some of the most important lessons I learned from my own parents.

Read. A lot. All the time.

When I was little, I hated reading. I HATED it. Why? Because it was monotonous. I just didn’t see the point. Why read about someone else’s life, when you can go live your own? I know, I know…to you bookworms, I sound like a crazy person. But you should know that I love reading now. 

All I wanted to do was climb trees, make rope swings, and play in the dirt. And my parents (bless their souls), were so patient with my lack of interest in anything literate. They knew EXACTLY who I was and what my interests were even before I myself did. As such, they knew exactly how to deal with my antics. For instance, I wasn’t allowed to play outside until I read at least one chapter of a book. So I would, kind of. (I would actually just blankly stare at each page for thirty seconds or so, daydream about what it would be like to do a backflip on a motorbike, and then flip the page. If you tell them this, I will deny it.)

My parents were ruthless! One day, however, I actually read a page. The blurred letters became words, and the words became sentences. Comprehensible sentences! I read about love and life, and learned about cultures that I never knew existed. 

My parents taught me to read, a lot, all the time. They taught me that books are full of knowledge, and showed me the beauty of seeing the world through someone else’s eyes. They turned my love of reading into a love of writing. And I feel like, for most of us, books serve to inspire us to live an extraordinary life.

Live an extraordinary life.

My parents taught me that being extraordinary doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a world leader, politician, rocket scientist, world class athlete, astronaut, or doctor (though, my mom would love to brag to her friends about how her daughter was SUPER successful – sorry, mom). Instead, they told me that I could be anything I wanted, and that no dream was unrealistic. 

To this day, when I’m stressed about school or overwhelmed with the notion of the future, my dad (without fail), will look at me, tilt his head, and say, “Honey, don’t stress about the small things, and don’t wish your life away thinking about the future. Enjoy the moment. If you wanted to be a truck driver, I would support you, as long as you were the best truck driver you could be.” 

I genuinely hope everyone was, and still is reminded that no dream is unattainable or unrealistic, and to live extraordinarily.

Money is just money.

Sure, money’s good. You can buy pretty things with money. You can afford to go on adventures with money. But somehow, somewhere along the way, money has started to equate to happiness. I refute this notion. Why? Well, money is just a material, like anything else. Instead, my parents always reminded me that money comes and goes, but relationships can last forever. (Listen to my parents, seriously. I think they were on to something here.) 

Own your intelligence.

From an early age, I didn’t take to anything academic very well. School was boring and my mind was always in the clouds. It took me years, a lot of support, and a lot of patience to ignite my love for learning. Even then, my parents taught me that it doesn’t necessarily matter how smart you are, as long as you try your best! It was never about the grades or the college admissions – it was more so about owning your intelligence, and making full use of your potential.

Remember that you are loved.

Independent to any success or failure, you will always be encouraged, supported and loved. Really think about that for a second, because sometimes life can seem hard and we forget that we are loved. We screw up, we make mistakes, and we feel lonely or like no one cares. But our parents will always love us, no matter what.  

Have fun.

Growing up, my dad and I would spend every morning together before school. I would eagerly hop out of bed and race to the kitchen where I would find the silhouette of my father working over the sink. I would get in my ready-to-creep position (weight placed on the very tips of my toes, arms held over my head, and my teeth clenched) and then I would slowly tiptoe to his back and…RAWR! (I got him every time). 

He would pick me up and spin me around before sitting me on the counter next to the sink. I loved to watch him shave. There was something meditative about it – the way the razor moved with precision and care. I remember asking him if I could shave too. After all, I wanted to be just like him. He just shook his head, and without a second thought proceeded to cover my chin and upper lip in soap. He would then use the smooth backside of the razor to remove the suds.

Parents remind us that it’s not necessarily just the big moments that are important, but the small ones. And sometimes it’s far better to invest in relationships than worry about doing things the “right” way.

Travel.

Set big, crazy, “How-on-earth-can-I-ever-do-this?” goals. Don’t settle for dreams that are easy to accomplish; instead, make goals for those crazy dreams, and then turn them into a reality.  

Travel near and far, follow your heart, and take any opportunity you can to explore somewhere new. Never, ever stop exploring. 

And lastly: someday, you are going to need to buy a fridge.

My parents taught me to save my money, because one day, inevitably, I will need to buy a fridge. (I feel like this is a metaphor for life… but how funny would it be if one day they walk into my future place and literally the only piece of furniture I own is a fridge?  And, of course, all that will be inside is one bottle of ketchup, an expired carton of milk, and 45 cans of beer.)

As I think of other families around the world, I am confident that my experiences are not entirely unique. Every day, our parents, guardians, siblings, or friends teach us and challenge us to become people of character. 

In a beautiful combination of biology and circumstance, we develop our personalities. My only hope is that every child has the opportunity to learn positive lessons from their family, as I have from mine. Be compassionate and kind, dream widely, never stop reading, buy a fridge, laugh every day, and live an extraordinary life. 

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