We all like to think we make smart decisions, whether it be deciding what to eat for breakfast, whether to go to the party or study at home, or choosing something as big as a career. We weigh the pros and cons, try and keep a good balance of “head versus heart”, and think of how our decision may affect those around us. We like to stick to our decisions, because this makes us confident and reliable. So what happens when we change our mind? To some, we appear flaky, irresponsible or flighty.
I don’t see it this way. I see changing your mind as a sign of strength, resilience, and bravery. Why? It takes courage to say that something in your life isn’t working, and an even greater strength to take it into your own hands and fix it. It took me a while to come to the realization that I was allowed to change who I was, where I was, and what I did with my life. It took me three changes of university major and a five-month soul-searching trip to Ireland to realize that I never needed to feel ashamed for changing my mind. I have always been seen as ambitious and put-together; the type of person who knew where they were going in life. So what happened every time I changed my life course? I felt terrified of letting everyone down – of appearing as a failure.
But I wasn’t a failure, I changed my mind. From the day we learn to speak, “who are you going to be?” is a question that is asked time and time again, loaded onto our shoulders, brick by brick. It is a question that for some people elicits a sole response: A lawyer. A teacher. An astronaut. Children can change their mind on the fly and be praised for their imagination and open mindedness. Teenagers and young adults are praised for knowing exactly what they want. But what about the woman in her mid-twenties who still hasn’t made her career choice? At some point between childhood and adulthood, who we are going to be transitions from being a light-hearted question, to a weighted decision.
On the last day of high school, I remember my French teacher standing in front of the class and advising us: “If the path you’re going down isn’t working, find another”. At the time, I thought this was odd advice. We have been taught to be consistent and reliable; we are supposed to stick to our word, keep our eye on the prize, and never shift our gaze. This is why I was expecting my teacher to say something like “If the path you’re going down isn’t working, find a way to make it work”, or “work hard for it”. We are encouraged to respond to the question of who we are going to be with a sole response. But why can’t our changes in decisions shed a positive light on our character?
I am going to study musical theatre for a year, then I’m going to go to Ireland for five months without a real purpose, come home, work a bit, and return to school to study French … wait no, linguistics (true story). To me, any change that makes you happy should not be stigmatised, it should tell the world: I tried this, it didn’t work. I am resilient and open to trying new things. I am adaptable. Although I initially questioned my high school teacher’s advice, these days I tend to gravitate towards it. I find my eyes wandering up, down, and around; scoping out the different opportunities I could take. While I have a career goal I am excited to be working towards, I still sometimes feel like the three-year old who says on Monday that they would like to be a firefighter and on Tuesday a koala bear.
You do not need to keep walking down the same path just because you are already on it. Your decisions do not need to be concrete. So from that I say — try different avenues, find what excites you, and never stop changing your mind until you do.