According to the National Coalition of Domestic Violence, domestic violence is “the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.”
A key part of this definition is the part about “a systematic pattern of power and control.” At the core of domestic violence is power and control. The perpetrator of domestic violence uses various abusive tactics in order to get and maintain power and control over the victim/survivor. These abusive tactics vary greatly, but there are several types of abuse that are especially common in domestic violence. No one type of abuse is worse than others and each form of abuse has different effects on different people. In order to recognize signs of domestic violence, it’s important to know about and be able to identify the different types of abuse.
Sexual abuse and violence is any type of unwanted sexual activity.
This includes, but is not limited to: sexual assault, lack of respect for partner’s consent/input in sex life, (threatening to) sharing private intimate pictures/videos without consent, forced prostitution or pornography, and refusing safe sex practices. Read more about how sexual assault and domestic violence intersect here.
Physical abuse is any type of physical violence and can include threats of physical violence as well.
This includes, but is not limited to: hitting, strangling, pushing, sleep/food deprivation, withholding of medical care/attention, and intimidation (via actual use or threat of use) with a weapon. Physical abuse is often (but not always) the most easily detected form of abuse.
Psychological abuse is when the perpetrator uses psychological tactics to manipulate the victim into thinking in a way that benefits the perpetrator.
This often takes place in the form of “gaslighting,” where information is twisted and selectively chosen to favor the abuser or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. Other examples of psychological abuse include isolating the victim/survivor from their friends and family, in order to make them feel like they have no support system to turn to, which increases dependence on the abuser.
Emotional abuse occurs when the perpetrator uses emotion and feelings to manipulate the victim/survivor.
Some examples of this include putting the partner down, making them feel bad about themselves, cutting down self-esteem, being overly critical, and threatening suicide/harm if the partner leaves them. Verbal abuse is a type of emotional abuse and includes put-downs, insults and making the victim feel bad about themselves verbally. Emotional abuse can be very hard to identify.
Financial abuse happens when the perpetrator uses and manipulates money and other financial assets in order to control the victim.
This can include, but is not limited to, when the perpetrator controls their partner’s hours at work, cuts their partner off from family income, does not allow a partner to work, makes the partner ask for money, prevents further schooling/job training, and incurs massive debt on joint accounts/in the victim’s name.
Abusive behaviors, especially sexual and physical abuse, does not necessarily need to be continued in order to maintain power and control over the victim through fear and intimidation. Sometimes, single incidents can have the same effect as continuing abusive behaviors, and can be used to maintain power and control over the victim without continuing the behavior; this is still abuse.
Being able to identify and label abusive behaviors is critical to being able to help family and friends who may be experiencing domestic violence and for being able to educate and raise awareness about this important issue. For more information on the different types of abusive behaviors, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline, loveisrespect or the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness.
This article was written in partnership with the Sr. Thea Bowman Center for Women of Siena College for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you or a loved one are experiencing signs of abuse, please check out these resources or call 1-800-799-7233 or chat online.