When you left for college you envisioned this crazy party lifestyle, but it turns out it’s not really for you. So when you bid your roommates goodbye on Friday night, keep these things in mind.
Tomorrow morning at 8 a.m., you will NOT have a pounding headache.
We all know that next morning feeling when you feel so dead that you can’t fathom the thought of leaving your bed, even if it’s just to get the water and Advil that’s six feet from your bed. You wouldn’t even entertain the idea of walking to the dining hall because you know your eyes can’t handle the sunlight right now. What happened last night? Whose shirt am I wearing? These questions won’t even cross your mind. Plus, you get extra points because you don’t have to scrape off your mascara and eyeliner from the night before.
You’re going to be so ahead with all of your work
Okay, so maybe Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute will distract you a little, but at least you tried, right? If you’re super disciplined, then maybe you can finish that history paper that’s due on Monday. Even if you only get one question done, you’re still ahead of your roommate who has a standard Sunday night (and sometimes Monday morning) date in the library.
No embarrassing photos here!
The next morning when you open your eyes and do your daily scroll through Snapchat stories, you know you won’t be finding a picture of you with Sharpie on your face or your head in a toilet. Just lay back, tap through stories, and hope these poor kids don’t have their mom as a Snapchat friend.
Get the Lysol…not.
Thank goodness you don’t have to deal with the beer cans littered across a party room and sticky, spilled mixed drinks all over a desk. Your room still smells like the Easy Mac and microwave popcorn you made last night instead of puke.
Enjoy the warmth!
Let’s be real, a New York college on a winter night is very clearly not sunny and 75 degrees. The walk to the party is 10 minutes with a frostbitten nose and purple fingers. Once September is gone, those warm nights are just a memory that you dearly miss. By Halloween you need a fur coat to walk to the other side of campus. Or you could always stay in, wrapped up (like the Chipotle burrito you wish you had) in your comforter.