To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before by Jenny Han is written from the perspective of Lara Jean Covey, a young Korean gal and middle child of three. She is the perfect role model of what it is like being imperfect. Lara Jean gets insecure, she can be a bit awkward, but most importantly is passionate (maybe about the wrong things at times, still love you girl). Those qualities make Lara Jean all the more relatable and real. This book breaks the picturesque romance literature promoting happy ever after or perfect relationships. One of the ways she harnesses her passion is through writing love letters; it is one of the ways Lara Jean gets closure. In those letters, she talks about their quirks and what moment made her fall in love. The letters were intended for her eyes only, but somehow get sent out and her life gets a bit out of control. Her relationship with Peter Kavinsky, the boy she used to “love” exemplifies that. It is her first relationship and clearly is far from being the typical match.
This is what I learned from the book:
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Just like Lara Jean and Peter’s relationship, love is not perfect.
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It’s small details and words that make all the differences. People do notice the small things.
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People know you better than you think.
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First love (and first kisses) will not be like the movies, it’s not always with the your one love, and first kisses aren’t as special as we’d like to imagine.
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Everyone has flaws.
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For some people confidence is natural, for others (and probably majority of people) need a little practice. Practice make perfect, remember that.
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The most important relationship you will ever be a part of is one with your family. Lara Jean and her two sisters Margot and Kitty make up the Song Sisters. Even the Song sisters are not the definition of the perfect sister relationship, but they support each other no matter what and have a bond that is indescribable but magnetic.
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The ones you love, will you give you reassurance when you need it the most.
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“Did you know that when people fight with each other, that means they still really care about each other?” (Page 190).
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Sometimes you making the first move makes all of the difference. Depending on Lara Jean’s decisions, her making/not making the first move could of changed her entire future.
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Jealousy is a natural feeling.
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Everyone has opinions about people and relationships.
As much as this book is about Lara Jean entering the realm of relationships by entering a fake one with Peter Kavinsky, the most popular boy at her school and her former crush, the love Lara Jean has with various characters are unique. The most unique relationship being with her late mom and the subtle ways Lara Jean keeps her memory alive. The consideration Lara Jean has for her mother makes sure that she is always with Lara Jean but also connects Kitty to an idea of their mother. To read how Lara Jean falls in love with Peter Kavinsky, pick up To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before. If you can’t find the time to read the book, a movie based on the book is already in the works!
Here’s a little personal self-reflection of ideas and Lara Jean:
I connect to the book in many ways as a sister, as a confused and slightly awkward teenager, and as a female who is unsure about what to do about love, but, because Lara Jean is such a strong an Asian-American character and she has become my personal hero. Ethnicity and identity play a large role in Lara Jean’s life because it connects her to her Korean family while intertwining tradition. Besides my admiration for Lara Jean’s attention to culture, it’s just nice that I, an Asian reader gets to read about an Asian character. The imperfection Lara Jean represents reads her to be real and truthful and the Jenny Han writes Lara Jean’s story it makes the reader feel like they are reading her diary.
Header image courtesy of Marisa Ng.