The Golden Rule focuses on treating others the way you would want to be treated. While it’s pretty easy to be kind to other people, it can be extremely difficult to be kind to yourself. Criticizing your “flaws,” not forgiving yourself for situations that were out of your control, and holding yourself to unattainable standards are all examples of ways that you can be unkind to yourself without explicitly realizing so.
Because you can be practicing unkind behaviors constantly without realizing it, it’s important to take a step back and actively take time to show kindness to yourself. Here are five ways you can begin to be kinder to yourself because it’s important to care for yourself as you would for those you love.
This is not an easy task, and the road to self-forgiveness can often be long and difficult. However, it is one of the most important ways to be kind to yourself. You’re human and it’s natural to make an error or two from time to time. But because self-forgiveness can be tough, sometimes gaining more perspective can help with the process. Talk to someone you trust, tell them the situation, and usually, that can help you work through your emotions and ultimately forgive yourself.
2. Treat Yourself as your Inner Child
When I’m hard on myself, I’ve found that one of the ways I show self-kindness is by envisioning myself as a younger me. It’s easy to forget that you were once a child, curious about the world and ready to experience life to the fullest. You’re the same person now than you were back then; you’ve just been on this earth for more time. Before you criticize yourself or treat yourself unfairly, imagine you’re once again that innocent and inquisitive child. Treat yourself in the caring, loving way you would have treated that young, carefree version of yourself.
3. Allow Yourself to Feel Emotions
A major part of being kind to yourself is letting your emotions be felt fully. If you feel sad, allow yourself to feel sad. If you are absolutely excited, jump up and down and experience that excitement. Don’t stifle your emotions; negative emotions can gradually build up and cause harm to your health. Let yourself feel positive emotions because you deserve to be happy.
4. Make Yourself a Meal
One of the most beautiful and caring things you can do for someone is to make them a meal. While it’s quicker to just cook up some instant noodles or order food with the tap of a button, making a ritual of cooking a meal for yourself is one of the most generous things you can do. Not only are you intentionally stirring and seasoning an amazing dish that will nourish your body, you’re also caring for your soul. You are worthy of a tasty, amazing meal, and taking time out of your day to do so is an excellent way to be kind to yourself.
5. Say No
In a world filled with yeses, it’s important to say no sometimes. Saying no can be hard! If a friend invites you for coffee but you really don’t want to go, you’re not obligated to agree. If you’re emotionally or socially drained and don’t want to partake in a Zoom meetup, true friends will understand why you have to skip it. Just as you wouldn’t force a friend to do something they’re against, don’t push yourself to do things you don’t want to do.
Many of these acts of self-kindness can be difficult and take time, but with enough practice, these will slowly become second nature. Never forget that you are not only worthy of other peoples’ kindness but also of being kind to yourself.