We’ve all heard about the “mid-life” crisis which usually occurs in middle-aged adults and is characterized by feelings of doubt, anxiety, and confusion as they reflect on their lives and accomplishments. Many of these people question the path they took with their lives personally and professionally. However, no one truly mentions the “quarter-life” crisis that occurs in peoples’ 20s due to many people perceiving the 20s as “the best time of a person’s life” physically and socially.
So, what is the quarter-life crisis? The quarter-life crisis is a period of uncertainty and questioning that usually happens when people feel uninspired and trapped in their social, personal, and professional lives. It’s hard to give a clear definition of what a quarter-life crisis is because people can experience different emotions during this time, or it can happen at different ages for young adults. This concept can be difficult to understand due to the perception that your life starts in your 20s– a period where you can explore what you want to do with your life. However, it’s understandable why people go through this stage, as you are questioned about what you want to do and achieve since childhood.
As a child, I can’t remember a time when people didn’t ask me what I wanted to do and achieve. The pressure of having an answer at that age and growing up to achieve that goal or learning something you didn’t want to can be very stressful. This question of what I wanted to accomplish in life didn’t stop; instead, it was asked much more often and taken more seriously in high school and even now as a third-year in college.
In high school, applying to colleges, knowing which school I wanted to attend, what I wanted to major in, and how I wanted to be involved in my school were all questions I didn’t have a clear answer to. It’s normal for young adults to be unsure about what they want to do. However, our society expects us to know what we want to do with our lives when we haven’t even learned about ourselves. Once you understand who you are as a person, your values, and your interests, then you can decide how you want to live your life and the purpose of your life.
So how do you lower the effects of this quarter-life crisis? Some strategies can be self-reflection, letting go of expectations from others, allowing yourself to change with time, and avoiding comparing yourself to others. Engaging in self-reflection helps you learn more about yourself and how you’re feeling.
I self-reflect as a person by journaling. I journal about anything I feel like, but I mostly journal about my feelings and emotions to relax and self-regulate. Letting go of expectations from others can be a daunting task. However, it is necessary to help you relieve some of that pressure you put on yourself for your life. Shifting your perspective on what you should do to make others satisfied to what makes you satisfied can help you regulate what you want to do and achieve with less pressure. Having flexibility with your goals over time allows you to explore your options, which is completely normal at any stage in your life, and gives you peace of mind when you’re not ready to do something you initially thought you were ready for. Lastly, avoid comparing yourself to others; I know it’s easier said than done, especially because I still struggle with comparing myself to others my age. I still struggle with imposter syndrome. However, I understand that everyone is on their path to their goals, and I need to look at my accomplishments and what I would like to achieve without comparing my achievements to my peers.
How do you handle feelings of self-doubt? Let us know @HerCampusSJSU!