As soon as you turn 18 society expects you to have your life together and your future figured out. Before we graduate high school, we are expected to choose a major to study for the next four years. Many people have their careers planned already and others have no idea what the future holds for them.
Then college starts and we are in a new environment with new people in our lives. Some people see college as the beginning of their independence and others have had to grow up independently.
Personally, I grew up fast because I had to be there for my parents. Translating documents, going with them to appointments and making important calls for them at a young age. Being a first-generation college student was a huge learning process for me. I had to figure things out on my own because my parents had no past knowledge to help guide me.
This led me to take upon a great sense of independence but I think it has caused some issues for me. I don’t like to ask for help because I never did when I was younger. I was always the person that people came to when they needed help. I helped my parents when they ran into language barriers, my younger sister when she needed something and my friends when they had personal problems going on in their lives.
I felt this emotional independence begin to emerge and I feel the need to take care of others. I also had to make sure to take care of myself on my own time and not burden others with my problems. I isolate myself when I feel emotionally overwhelmed. This is a habit I want to break. I have become too emotionally independent.
Independence is a strong quality to have. You are not dependent on another person, you can take care of yourself in different aspects and you are not afraid to do things on your own. But being super independent may lead to internal problems within yourself.
Nowadays, when you log onto social media everyone is glorifying being alone to “protect your peace”, adulthood is a time of uncertainty and I think that while it is important to be independent it is also important to have people around you who you can turn to for support.
You should not solely rely on your independence to the point where you feel that you need to do absolutely everything on your own.
Remember that it is not always up to you. You don’t have to deal with your problems on your own, you can surround yourself with people who bring you peace and who you can turn to for help. You don’t have to do everything on your own.
What are your thoughts on independence as a college student? Let us know at @HerCampusSJSU