Life isn’t always fair, and that’s a hard pill to swallow. You didn’t pass that chemistry midterm. Your best friend of ten years just moved across the world. You’re getting older, and everything around you seems to be changing. But that’s part of life. Your mindset plays a huge role in how you handle these changes. Here are five hard-to-swallow pills that everyone should consider, especially when life feels unfair.
Some things are just not under your control
You can’t control everything, and that’s okay. Life doesn’t always go the way you plan, and there are some things that simply can’t be changed. The important action is how you respond to these situations. Instead of overthinking every little mishap or beating yourself up over things you couldn’t influence, focus on what you can control—your reactions, your mindset, and how you choose to move forward. Learning to accept that some things are out of your hands is liberating. It allows you to live more freely and without unnecessary stress. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to enjoy life without worrying about things you had no say in.
Stop taking everything so personally
Many times, what people say about you is more of a reflection of them than it is of you. Someone’s negative comment may not be about you at all but rather a product of their own insecurities or issues. While it can be difficult not to take things to heart, developing the resilience to let certain comments slide is essential for maintaining a healthy mindset. This doesn’t mean you ignore constructive criticism or feedback, but it’s important to distinguish between what’s truly relevant and what’s just noise. By learning to filter out unnecessary negativity, you protect your peace and keep control over how you feel about yourself and your life.
Don’t base your happiness on others
In our society, where social interactions play a significant role in our everyday lives, it can be challenging to avoid measuring your happiness against the relationships you have with others. However, true happiness should come from within. Your personal goals, dreams, and sense of fulfillment should take priority over seeking validation from others. Don’t invite yourself to events and hangouts because if they didn’t invite you, they probably didn’t want you there. It’s not about cutting off social interaction, but about finding a balance between yourself and other people. Spend time with people who uplift you, but also learn to enjoy your own company. Try taking yourself out on solo adventures, explore your hobbies, and give yourself space to grow as an individual. It’s a process, but learning to build a strong relationship with yourself is one of the most rewarding things you can do.
You never know someone’s full story
We live in a world where social media can create the illusion that everyone’s life is perfect—except yours. But remember, you only ever see part of the picture. For instance, you might see a peer constantly posting about their luxurious vacations and fancy dinners, but what you don’t see are the long hours they work, the personal sacrifices they make, or the challenges they face in maintaining their mental health. Someone’s outward success or happiness may not reflect the struggles they’re facing behind closed doors. Don’t waste time comparing your journey to others based on what little you know. Instead, focus on what’s real for you. The more you practice gratitude for your own life, the less likely you are to fall into the trap of comparison.
You can’t vibe with everyone
Not everyone will like you, and that’s perfectly fine. We live in a world filled with diverse people, each with their own backgrounds, perspectives, and personalities. It’s natural for some of these differences to lead to misunderstandings or clashes. Trying to please everyone or forcing connections can lead to unnecessary stress. Instead, focus on finding your network—people who understand, support, and resonate with you. Accept that it’s okay if not everyone gets along with you, and embrace the diversity that makes the world interesting.
Overall, life is full of hard truths, but accepting them is key to personal growth and finding peace and fulfillment. These lessons are quite harsh, but embracing them will help you build a healthier mindset and live your best life.
Have any other advice or hard-to-swallow pills? Send a message to @HerCampusSJSU on Instagram—we’d love to hear from you!