There’s a common misconception that female masturbation is “shameful” and “gross”, when in reality, it empowers, de-stresses, improves our relationship with our body and makes us feel damn good.
While men and women all partake in the act of getting themselves off, more commonly, men are perceived to have a higher sex drive than women. In 2011, Dr. Cynthia Robbins, who specializes in adolescent medicine, released an article to assess solo masturbation frequency predominance. She concludes that more males (73.8%) reported masturbation across age groups than females (48.1%) and that masturbation only increased for both men and women with age. Her research recognizes that younger females feel less comfortable admitting they masturbate, which explained the increased percentage of women stating they masturbated at ages fifteen and up versus those at age fourteen. Her research shows females’ sexual development from adolescence onward and that masturbation is a regular occurrence in sexual development.
After reviewing Dr. Robbins’ research, I decided to conduct a survey of my own. To understand our San Jose State University female community’s sexual behavior, I posed seven questions to female students:
- At what age did you first masturbate?
- How did you masturbate your first time?
- How do you currently masturbate?
- How was your experience the first time you masturbated vs. now?
- How many times a week do you masturbate?
Women of SJSU: First Experience Masturbating
“The first time, it was something I never did before, so I just thought that it felt really good, and I just continued from there. It was all about experimenting from then on out. Now I know what I like and honestly, sometimes it’s the only way I can orgasm. I feel so much better doing it to myself!” – Katrena (Member)
“At first it was something I’d feel embarrassed/ guilty about doing but now for me, I’m a little more open about talking about it and I feel like its a form of self-love.” – Anonymous
“The first time I masturbated, I was in middle school; I was at home alone and figured, hmm, why not. At first, I started masturbating about four times a week and felt guilty. It was definitely a learning experience and ever since I’ve felt more empowered every time I masturbate. It relieves my stress, and the best part is that I know my body better than anyone else, so I know what I like.” – Anonymous
“Definitely a new experience and a little scary because I never felt that way before or someone helped me feel that way. Now I know what my body wants and understand it more compared to when I was 16.” – Anonymous
“If I’m being honest, I don’t remember a lot of my first time masturbating but I felt gross and dirty after at that time. Now, I feel empowered to masturbate because it gives me the power and ability to figure out what I like and don’t like sexually. Even though self-pleasure is seen as taboo, I feel like sex education classes should talk about this topic and normalize it.” – Anonymous
“Clumsy. I did not know what I was doing. Real female masturbation is not like the pornos.” – Anonymous
“At first I was more curious, and now masturbation is an activity I turn to for fun or to help relieve stress.” – Anonymous
“Before, I was so unsure and had a hard time understanding my own body. Now that I understand it, it feels better and I’m more confident with it.” – Anonymous
“The first time I masturbated was weird because it was all very new to me! I thought it was a bad thing because the topic of masturbation was almost taboo in my family! The feeling of ejaculation had a much more fireworks feelings in comparison to right now! Right now, i know everything about my body and how to make myself feel good so I am more in control of my body!” – Anonymous
“i had no clue what I was doing and at the time I was embarrassed to pleasure myself because I used to be religious. I had no idea and no guidance about self pleasure because no one spoke about it and if it was it was talked down upon. The only thing we were taught in school was what sex is, our reproductive systems and to be abstinent. Now, I don’t feel embarrassed because I should know my own body and what I like. It isn’t a taboo subject anymore. – Anonymous
“Honestly, I’m still figuring out my body! The experience is still pretty much the same, only I know a bit more about pleasure spots. I used to read erotica to get off but since I have a boyfriend now, I would usually picture us getting our freak on or remember something that we’ve done in bed that I really liked. I could never get myself to orgasm which sucks but I hope I figure it out one day.” – Anonymous
“When I masturbate now, I focus on physical and mental pleasures, compared to earlier times when I just did it because it was a new feeling and felt nice. Now, It helps me connect with a divine energy within myself.” – Anonymous
“It was very intense and I was very curious on what it was like. Now I know what I’m into.” – Anonymous
“I used to be so ashamed about it because I didn’t know much, but now I got toys and know the benefits.” – Anonymous
“I had no idea what I was doing the first couple of times, but now I mostly do.” – Anonymous
The purpose of the survey was to normalize sharing personal experiences regarding female masturbation and our sex drive. While women are perceived as dainty and innocent, we, just like men, enjoy expressing ourselves sexually with some much-needed self-pleasure to relieve stress and connect with our bodies.
The survey received 41 responses, and from the results, we can see that 51.3% of women first began masturbating between the ages of ten to fourteen. In contrast, 48.7% began masturbating between ages fifteen to nineteen.
When asked how they first began masturbating, 90.9% of women stated they used their hands while 4.5% started with a vibrator, and the other 4.5% used a pillow. Now, 63.6% continue to use their hands, 31.8% use a vibrator, and 4.5% utilize both methods.
When asked how many times a week they masturbate, 40.9% masturbate once a week, 27.3% twice a week, 18.2% three times a week, 4.5% four times a week, and 9.1% of the women masturbate five or more times per week.
From the small portion of SJSU students that filled out the survey, I can conclude that women within our community do have a high sex drive and often don’t feel comfortable admitting it. They often perceive it as a shameful act, but it is a natural urge. When asked what their first experience masturbating was like versus now, they commonly stated that they didn’t know what they were doing and felt guilty but have grown to feel empowered and more confident in their body which has positively affected their experience masturbating in the present.
These stories show us that we’re all in a similar boat at first; we want to explore our bodies and develop sexually through masturbation, but the occurrence itself is far from what we’d expect; it’s weird and uncomfortable, but the more you explore, the more you’ll learn to enjoy the ride. While many consider masturbation to be taboo, I look to express to the women of SJSU that self-pleasure is far from shameful.
Don’t be afraid to speak up; we’re living in the 21st century, so embrace the typically embarrassing and awkward topics. We want to hear from you now and in the future, so keep an eye out for future surveys about sex, relationships, sex toys, etc.