As spring blooms, the spirit of love from Valentine’s Day still lingers. As I see flowers blooming, I think of a few things that come as spring dawns on us: the flourishing of new love or the beginning of a new chapter of self-love and discovery after a fresh breakup. I walk the pavement, imagining my Black love fantasy of where, when, and how I will meet the one.
Growing up as a little Black girl, I did not have exposure to media, TV, and movie entertainment that featured people who looked like me, let alone witness Black actresses playing roles where they are the main love interest or the main characters in a romance movie. Not until I entered adulthood did I see Black actresses portray such vulnerability, and it was not until college that I realized I, too, could be a love interest to someone who entered my life.
Before I discovered the shows and movies that adequately portrayed Black women in love, receiving love, and expressing love, I relied on music to fantasize about the innocence and beauty of love. Songs from Whitney Houston like “Saving All My Love for You” and “I Have Nothing,” songs from Beyonce like “Dangerously in Love” and “Love on Top,” Fantasia’s “When I See You,” and one of my favorite artists of all time, Alicia Keys, “If I Ain’t Got You” and “No One.” All of these songs have allowed me to build an understanding of the feelings of heartbreak, intense love, crushes, and more.
The show I am currently watching, “Girlfriends,” is an American sitcom spanning eight seasons that delves into the various aspects of the contrasting experiences of middle-aged Black women in America. Coincidentally enough, I watched the Valentine’s Day special episode on Valentine’s Day itself, and I thought to myself, when will I have that special someone to call mine?
As someone who grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods and attended primarily white schools from K-12, I observed only my non-Black friends getting hit on, receiving Valentine’s Day goodies from their crushes, getting into relationships, and experiencing breakups. While I appreciate that my parents kept me away from teenage relationship stress, I have always wished I could be the one at lunch telling the exciting new gossip about getting into the delusional feeling of teenage love with my crush.
Now that I am in college, I am lucky to say I have found my version of “Girlfriends” within my friend group on campus. After meeting them, I finally got exposed to more media, TV, and film representing Black love in all aspects. For instance, some of my personal favorites include, “Love Jones,” “If Beale Street Could Talk,” “Poetic Justice,” “Love and Basketball,” and of course, “Girlfriends,” to name a few.
I am now confident that I am worthy of love and romance and know that I will one day fall in love because Black love is special, pure, and passionate. I look at myself in the mirror today as a Black woman who is completely removed from the stereotypes and instead views myself as someone who deserves tenderness and can give and embrace love.
One of my dream places to meet my special someone is in a coffee shop, influenced by some of my favorite Black love shows. Where do you envision your special place where you could meet that special someone? @HerCampusSJSU!