It’s your first day of college. You’re scared out of your mind, you’re convinced that making friends is the last thing that you are capable of at this moment, and you’re both desperate for your parents to leave (and stop embarrassing you) and positive that you can’t possibly live without them. And then, the cute guy at the info table catches your eye and everything seems infinitely better. From that point on, the crushes flow like the jungle juice on Fun Day. Welcome to the world of never-fulfilled, always-present crushes, ladies. Welcome to Skidmore.
Fear not, freshman collegiettes. We’re bringing you the scoop on the five guys you’ll crush on this year!
Your Roommate’s Friend
You’ve finally settled into living in a room with other people – you’ve worked out a sleeping schedule, you know how to change without flashing everyone, and you’re starting to see that the girls (yes, we know you’re all in triples) who cohabitate that tiny cell of a room with you are actually real people. They have work, they have classes, they go places and do things, and most importantly, they have friends! Some of whom, presumably, are guys.
The roommate’s friend seems like the perfect crush; you see him a lot because he’s always hanging around, you can be casual around him, and you get to see him in his natural environment – joking around with his friends!
Don’t be fooled, though. Soon enough he’s in your room when you’re in your nasty pajamas and you’re all red from picking at your face in the bathroom. And then you remember that he isn’t actually there to see you, but your roommate, and you’re totally disappointed that for some stupid reason he hasn’t noticed you yet. While it may not be all butterflies and rainbows with this crush, it’s still totally inevitable. And don’t forget, if you don’t think he’s noticed you, it’s probably just because he thinks you’re totally out of his league. So crush away!
The Opposite-Side-of-D-Hall Kid
You know exactly who I’m talking about. Maybe you’re a blue-sider and he sits on the red side with his friends who truly embrace the CTM motto. Maybe you’re a red-sider and he sits on the blue side with his rowdy friends who always seem to be having a good time. He’s a little different than you and your friend group, which makes him so much more attractive. It’s a little taboo and maybe your friends don’t approve; it’s like living on the wild side, but only a little bit. Crushing on this guy feels like you’re living in Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi,” and you won’t stop until you see him on MTV.
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The Kid You Always See While Working Out
You finally motivate yourself to get off your bed, turn off Netflix, and go to the gym, and of course, you see the hottest guy you’ve ever seen (at Skidmore). He’s working out, so to try to impress him, you pick your favorite cardio machine and put it one level higher than normal. A few minutes in, however, you realize this was a terrible plan. You’re now about to pass out from lack of oxygen, there’s sweat running down your face (not to mention everywhere else), and you look like you just ran a marathon. You think to yourself, “Great, I look like a freaking hot mess and he looks like this:”
Don’t worry, though. He’ll notice how awesome it is that you’re working out and see how hot it is that you’re a strong, empowered young woman. So you be you, girl. Keep up the good work!
A Bandersnatcher/All the Bandersnatchers…
Nobody can deny their absolute, undeclared, undying love for the Bandersnatchers. They are the Skidmore equivalent of football players at Division 1 schools. Their performances are among the most highly attended at the school, and you can’t go to a show without enjoying yourself… not to mention developing an unrequited crush that feels not dissimilar to your second grade crush on Dreamstreet.
The Banders have that adorable, All-American, boy-next-door look, and it suits them perfectly. They wear those flawlessly fitting khakis with pastel shirts that make you want to swoon. And then, in case that wasn’t enough, they do their traditional “we are the Bandersnatcher boys” bit with the jump and spin, and one of them makes eye contact with you for a second and you’re pretty sure you are about to collapse into a pool of your own drool. This crush is unavoidable and often leaves you feeling star struck, but since they’re practically celebrities, you probably aren’t too convinced that this is viable anyways. (So unless you’re also convinced you have a chance with Ryan Gosling, you probably won’t be too upset when this crush remains one-sided).
The Kid in that Awful Required Class
So there you are on the first day of ____________ (insert required class name here). It’s the worst class you’ve ever taken in high school and college combined and you knew you were going to hate it from the moment you walked in the door. You’re stuck feeling miserable… until you notice the cute guy across the room who looks like he’s having even less fun than you. He glances up at you and you give him a look that shows him you understand his despair. This is one of those great crushes where you feel like you share something deeper than looks – you feel as though you are together in this awful experience. He’s your paradise from the hell that is the class, and who knows? Maybe you’re his oasis as well.
Whether or not your crushes return the feelings, it’s always a fun break from schoolwork to think about the cutie you’re crushing on for a little while. And who knows? Maybe Skidmore Crushes will get back online at some point and all your secrets can be revealed (anonymously, that is). So crush on, Skiddies, crush on.