So you’re officially a well-established collegiette! Congrats! But why do you feel like people still treat you like a high schooler? Professors may talk down to you, and you don’t have any idea how to represent yourself in job or internship interviews. It’s OK! You’re at a transitional period in your life and over the next four years you’re going to grow from that high-school kid into a professional young woman ready to tackle the world (hooray?). It’s not easy, though, and sometimes you might find many people in your life (even your friends) not taking you seriously as an adult. Don’t worry; we’ve got seven ways to show others (and yourself!) that you’re a force to be reckoned with (and are ready to take on the world.) Check them out:
1. Dress to impress
This doesn’t mean you have to go out and buy a new wardrobe full of designer outfits, nor does it mean you don’t have the right to wear sweatpants to class at 8 a.m. on a Friday (thank God), but if you want to be seen as a professional adult, you should try your best to dress for the occasion, whatever it might be. What does this mean? Sorry, but try not to wear your Saturday night outfit to chem lab. We all love crop tops (right?) and those ripped tights, but they have a time and a place. While we’re all about flaunting what you’ve got, keep in mind that some people see showing excess skin as unprofessional and distracting, even in the classroom. You don’t have to dress like a nun – and you have every right to keep your personal style – but keep in mind who you’re dressing for and what your look says about you.
2. Get rid of filler words
We’re as guilty as anyone for saying “like” and “so” and the dreaded “Y’know?” during conversations in class… and basically everywhere else. But sometimes using filler words makes it appear that you don’t have your thoughts collected, and people notice when you, like, use them too often, y’know? This habit can be remedied, but it takes a little self-awareness. Consciously try not to use them when you raise your hand during a class discussion. It’s tough, but the more you practice the more you’ll notice these filler words dropping from your vocabulary.
“Um” is a similar, yet different story. Some professors I’ve talked to don’t mind when students start a statement with “Um” because it shows that they are thinking carefully about what they’re going to say (as opposed to just blurting out a stream-of-consciousness). This is actually pretty helpful in buying you some thinking time during interviews. Still, you can easily overuse this word, so try to keep it out of the middle of your sentences.
3. Zip it and be patient
Speaking of blurting out random streams-of-consciousness, stop doing that. We all have the right to speak our minds, but it’s not always our turn. Personally, we can hardly think of anything more annoying than when we’re interrupted in the middle of a sentence by someone else. It’s irritating, and sometimes even offensive. Of course, we’re guilty of doing it too. We all get a little too excited now and then, so sometimes we just can’t help it.
Even if you don’t agree with what someone is saying, let him or her finish. This is the golden rule stuff all over again (remember kindergarten?). Everyone deserves the right to voice an idea or an opinion and you, as an adult (!) should respect that in the same way you’d want someone to respect your thoughts. So just be patient; wait for your turn to talk. People will notice and appreciate your respect for others and will in turn respect you!
4. Be prepared, always
Your partner forgot to email him- or herself your group presentation? Well, good thing you had it saved on your handy-dandy flash drive! We all want to seem like superwoman, flawlessly ready for any situation the world might hand us. That’s pretty impossible to achieve most of the time, but it’s important to go into situations prepared for whatever might surface.
This includes – we hate to say it – doing your homework both literally and figuratively. Being prepared for discussions in class is crucial to gaining the respect of your teachers and even your peers. You don’t have to understand perfectly, but know enough to contribute to a discussion. This goes double for job interviews. Read up on the position as well as the history of the organization and your interviewer. Come with questions and arm yourselves with extra resumes, a pen and even a notebook for taking notes. Being well equipped for an interview or a discussion shows your superiors that you’re organized, educated and ready for whatever might come your way.
5. Don’t gossip
OK, we all love to gossip sometimes. It’s human nature (according to some scientists) to talk badly about or remark on the business of others. Everyone does it to some extent, but that doesn’t make it a good thing. Be careful what you say in a professional or public setting. It’s one thing to gossip with your bestie over wine and Pretty Little Liars, but it’s considered highly inappropriate to do so in public, or even within a larger group of friends. No one wants to be labled as a busybody, and if word gets around that you’re perpetuating rumors, it will be a lot harder to gain the trust and respect of others.
6. Take responsibility for your actions
This is probably the biggest and most difficult aspect of becoming an adult. If you mess up, you have to own up to it. Did your alarm not go off? Your fault. The roads were icy and you were ten minutes late to work? You should have left earlier. Hooked up with your friend’s crush? Oops yeah, your bad. Things happen, obviously, and you’re not perfect, but taking responsibility for your mistakes is a sign of maturity.
A huge part of taking this responsibility is apologizing for the mistakes you’ve made. We’re talking a real, meaningful apology that isn’t full of excuses. So: “I’m so sorry I hooked up with _______ and I know I hurt you and broke your trust, I hope you can forgive me,” is a great start. A not to great start? “Oh my god I’m so sorry I hooked up with _______, we were both so drunk and I though you hadn’t been talking to him lately!” Which one sounds more legit? (And which one would you rather hear if roles were reversed?) We’re going to go with the first one.
7. Forgive
In addition to apologizing for the mistakes you’ve made, try your best to forgive others for their mistakes. OK, so maybe if you’re the betrayed friend in the last scenario, this might be a little more difficult. Sometimes holding a grudge against someone makes you feel better, but it’s usually only a temporary feeling of satisfaction. In the long run, resenting someone isn’t good for building relationships and is actually damaging to your health!
Especially in a professional setting, try to forgive others quickly. You’re doing yourself a solid and it shows others that you’re mature enough to let things go and not dwell on past issues.
Do you have a trick for getting people to take you seriously? Share it in the comments!