Money Matters: How to Deal With Shared Expenses WithOUT the Drama

Whether you live in a dorm, apartment, or a house- and there are roommates involved- a number of questions manifest: Should food be a shared expense? Split down the middle? Or, should you buy your own food? If you’re paying bills, they have to be in someone’s name, yet all of you have to chip in. How and when do you ask your
roommates for money? What is/should be considered a “joint expense,” and thus paid for by everyone? The questions go on and on… and I feel your pain. I have been confronting these questions for the past 5 years now. As college students, we are almost always living with other people, and it can get complicated, regardless of money issues. Thus, it would be really nice to at least try to get the money problems out of the equation, right? That’s why I’m here to help! Take a look at some of these helpful tips:
 

1. Talk about it from the outset: don’t be afraid to approach your roommate(s) about money. If you don’t discuss it in the very beginning, you open up the door for confusion, misunderstandings, and a boatload of other issues that can be easily avoided (through talking about it!)
2. Make a decision and stick to it: when you and your roommate(s) have an agreement about things, the environment will be far less complicated. My friend, for example, was living in an apartment with two roommates. The three of them never came to a clear understanding of how food would be paid for. Thus, they went from a “shared” food situation- in which all of them contributed to the food in the cupboard- to an “individual” food situation, meaning that certain food was off-limits to the other roommates. However, because they never discussed it in the first place, they also never discussed the transition, and then finally, never stuck to a clear plan. The result? Animosity. One roommate even began counting rice cakes to make sure that the other roommates weren’t “stealing” them. Though this doesn’t happen to everyone, the possibility remains, and money is like an unstable atom- any minute it could blow up. Better to have a plan and deter roommate battles.
3. If you choose the “individual” food plan: make it clear what food belongs to you and what belongs to your roommate(s). It might sound over-the-top, but you could: label your food, get your own mini-fridge, or make sure that your food is clearly on your side of the room (or in your room, in the event that you live in an apartment/house). By taking these extra steps, you avoid the confusion of “whose is whose?” If the house-wide decision is that no one’s sharing food, it shouldn’t appear “spiteful,” just sensible.
4. If you choose the “shared” food plan: set an amount that each roommate will always pay so that everything remains equal. In choosing this plan—which I’m sure seems a lot more sensible to most people—you are putting a lot of trust in your roommates’ ability to budget their own money. Take, for example, the instance in which one of your roommates went out Friday night and spent hours at the bar, while you frugally stayed home watching movies on the internet. Once grocery shopping time rolls around, your roommate doesn’t have the money. What do you do? Does s/he chip in lessand still get to enjoy all of the food? Of course this is OK once or twice, but when it starts to reoccur, it becomes an issue. One way to deal with this would be that everyone chips in a little less that week- maybe you won’t have as much food for the week, but at least it avoids problems.
5. Joint expenses that cannot be avoided: rent, bills, and more bills. I’m sure this seems obvious, but problems can even arise in situations that appear easily dealt with. If you are living in a house with a few friends, and you have the largest room, should you pay more rent? Who gets the garage parking spot? Bills need to be in one roommate’s name.  So, what does it mean to step up to the plate and take on that responsibility? Ok, this all comes back to our #1 tip: talk about it! A lot of people divide rent based on room size, but if you and your roommate(s) aren’t having an issue with it, don’t make it an issue. Make a decision whether the room size will determine rent payment and stick to it. Parking spot rules, in my opinion, shouldn’t be that one person gets it versus another. Take turns. Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays the spot goes to one of you, and Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays goes to another. Try to make things as fair as possible. And as far as bills go—once again—talk about it! Maybe one of your roommates is a planner and good with schedules (and will volunteer to take care of things)—that is, telling you when to write him/her a check and for how much. If not, and the responsibility falls on you, don’t, and I repeat, don’t be afraid to approach your roommate(s) for money. Tell them ahead of time. It is not worth damaging your credit because you are too afraid to approach your roommate(s) about money!
6. And lastly, try as best you can to create a trusting, accepting, and understanding environment in your shared living space. I’m not saying you have to be best friends with the everyone, but if you have a relationship that encourages discussion, it will really alleviate so much of the stress that might surround “roommates & money.”

 
I hope that these tips have been helpful for you, and that you return next week to read my upcoming article, “Credit & the Collegiette: When, How, and Why to Start Building Your Credit in College.”
 
Also, if you have any questions regarding roommate(s) and money, or any other money related topic, don’t hesitate to comment below!