It all started on my first day of 6th grade gym class. I was in the girl’s locker room getting changed into navy gym shorts and a loose-fitting t-shirt when a girl I had never spoken to before said: “You’re not wearing a bra yet? Ew… you really should… it looks weird.” From that day on, it was settled. Every day, I would strap on a bra. At first it was a simple tan one with elastics. Later, I moved to underwire. Then, push up bras. Finally, lace. All girls know the progression.
Growing up, bras were an essential part of femininity. One of the most anticipated trips of teendom was the first visit to Victoria’s Secret with your friends, full of stifled high-pitched giggles and faked confidence in the lingerie section. It was real. It was important. If I had been told one year ago that I would be walking around campus my sophomore year without a bra on, I don’t think I would have believed it. But hey, here I am: nipples and all!
Here are some things I’ve learned and experienced while transitioning from the bra life to the braless life:
1. It felt really weird and uncomfortable at first
After years of wearing a bra every day, walking out in public without one on made me feel very exposed. For the first few weeks, I found myself crossing my arms more frequently because I felt bare and awkward. In conversation, I watched other people closely to see if they were judging my physical appearance. I was convinced that the change was major enough for everyone to notice immediately. It was only after a month or so that the change become habit and felt natural.
2. I was sometimes sexualized
As I stopped wearing a bra to my internship in the city over the summer, the type of attention I received in public increased negatively. Several times I was catcalled from the opposite side the street, with bold comments about the way my chest looked and moved. For a while, the vulgar comments I received from strangers made me wonder if because of society’s norms for a woman’s appearance in public, my attire was objectively inappropriate or “too sexual”. Some days, walking down the street was a legitimate exercise in being confident in my own choices, as people tried to convince me that I was dressed to “attract attention” or appear “sexier”. I slowly became more certain of the truth, which was that I was going braless for my own comfort. I came to truly believe that the opinions or assertions of others were irrelevant to my intent. Confidence came with time.
3. I stopped thinking about size and shape
Prior to dropping bras from my daily routine, my opinion of my chest was always closely tied to my cup size. The letter “B” defined me, as silly as that may sound, and in many instances made me feel inadequate or less feminine that some of my other female friends. Wearing bras less helped me appreciate not only the size of my breasts, but their natural shape. I started to notice the unattainable shape that the cup of the typical underwire bra creates. I realized that bras had subliminally told me that a woman’s chest should look one specific way in clothing. I’ve grow to like the way my body looks naturally in all types of clothing, which has in turn increased my body positivity in ways that I couldn’t have previously imagined.
4. It started to feel normal sooner than I thought
Initial discomfort and catcalling aside, the transition was a relatively quick one. With the exception of a few sheerer shirts in my closet, I almost never wear a bra anymore, whether I am in class, at job interview, or enjoying a night out with friends.
Achieving body confidence is far from easy. Being a young woman means being exposed to a shocking amount of beauty standards which one person could never meet. The messages that society sends us are not entirely in our control, but the way that we respond to these messages can be. For the majority of my life, I was under the impression that in order to be a real woman, I had to wear a bra. I felt like if I didn’t, I would not be fitting an essential mold. Not wearing a bra has taught me that there are countless ways to identify as a woman, and that no single way is more or less legitimate than another. My identity is not dependent on the use of an undergarment, and the appearance of my breasts does not define my beauty or my relationship to sexuality.
I challenge all woman to experiment with the way that they dress their bodies, and to wear whatever feels good. The choice is yours.