I always knew I wanted to go to college growing up. With that being said, I never had an exact plan for where I wanted to go. After almost a year of being comfortable at home and doing school virtually during the pandemic, the looming decision of where to attend college became more and more real. It seemed like everyone around me was deciding to go to a big state school, so not knowing what I wanted, I figured I would do the same.
As the first semester of college was approaching, I could not help but notice how excited my peers were about heading off to college. I wondered why I was not feeling the same way, and realized that I had chosen the wrong school before even starting. I always imagined that I would go to a college far from home because it seemed like that was what everyone did. However, the thought of being dropped off over 200 miles away became more and more daunting as the first day of school neared. I desperately wanted to feel excitement like all of my friends, but instead I was filled with anxiety and regret. I continued to feel this way all summer, but I tried my best to hide these emotions to make the most of this new chapter.
Unfortunately, things did not magically get better once school started. The football games that I had been looking forward to were not like they were in the movies, and instead were an unworthy reason to wake up early on a Saturday only to dress up and leave during the first quarter. The scenic campus that I had once loved had lost its charm during the 30-minute walk to class from my dorm, especially on cold or rainy days. All of my friends and classmates seemed so happy to be there but I could not relate to this, no matter how hard I tried.
It was crazy how lonely I felt at a school with almost 50,000 students. I found myself constantly thinking about the smaller and closer-to-home school that I never thought I would attend. Despite how much I wanted to leave, transferring was a scary thought. The anxiety of going through the whole application process again and worrying if my credits would transfer was a lot, but I knew it would be worth it in the long run.
Now, over a year later, I’m at the smaller school I was hoping for. It was truly the best decision I ever made. I finally feel the excitement of college. I never get tired of my quick walk to class or the joy I get from seeing people that I know on campus every day. When picking a school, there were so many factors that I did not think to consider. The class sizes, the class requirements, the type of town and the type of party scene. Being at my previous school made me realize what I want when it comes to these factors. I much prefer the classes at my current university, where my professors know my name instead of being a number in a lecture with hundreds of students. Although it took me a semester at a school I did not like, I realized that one college will never be perfect for everyone. It is completely normal for all students to have different wants and needs.
Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time and tell myself not to pick a college based on what everyone else was doing, but I know I would not be the person I am today if I had done that. It is a lot of pressure to decide what the next 4 years of your life will look like when you are 17. It is even more pressure to act like you made the right choice about those four years, despite having no clue what you are doing. A lot of people get lucky, they find their path right away and love their school. However, there are plenty of people who struggle and end up transferring as well. No matter what you choose, you have gotten through it so far and will only continue to grow.