A Decade Later, The “Cool Girl Monologue” Holds True

In 2012, Gillian Flynn, a mystery and suspense author from Chicago, wrote “Gone Girl,” a novel about a wife who fakes her death to enact revenge on her deadbeat husband. While this novel contains the typical elements of a suspense novel, it also criticizes gender roles and gendered hierarchy through what has become a manifesto for women nationwide: “The Cool Girl Monologue.” 

In the Cool Girl Monologue, the main character, Amy Dunne, states, 

“Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girls are fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man. When I met Nick Dunne, I knew he wanted ‘cool girl’ and for him, I’ll admit, I was willing to try… I drank canned beer while watching Adam Sandler movies. I ate cold pizza and remained a size two.”

Essentially, the Cool Girl Monologue states that “cool” women are willing to change facets of their identity to better adapt to their partner’s preferences and appeal to the male gaze. Amy reflects on how she dumbed herself down for her husband and agreed to do things she did not want to do, like moving to Missouri. 

One might assume that more than 10 years after the film’s release, women and girls have learned to be uniquely themselves and accept who they are, regardless of the opinion of men. However, I would argue that now more than ever, there is intense pressure to be the perfect “cool girl.”

On TikTok and Instagram, random influencers beg “Run, don’t walk” to the nearest store to buy the newest trendy item so I can be the perfect “clean girl” or “coquette lolita.” New trends and labels for aesthetics are constantly evolving; it is often hard to keep up or fit in with one aesthetic. In addition, it is exhausting trying to keep up with the multiple types of “cool girls” that sway in and out of fashion depending on what companies, influencers or models are pushing at a given time.

Alongside these constantly changing fashion trends, one thing still rings true: men want women to be “effortlessly” or “naturally” pretty. In my experience, many men want women to be pretty without even trying. A lot of men say they want a “natural” girl without even really knowing what that means. Products like lip tint, tinted moisturizer and clear mascaras are incredibly popular because they are considered “no make-up make-up.” 

While I understand women who choose these styles based on their preferences, I think most women, including myself, are guilty of trying to change something about themselves to seem likable or “easy” in a relationship. When men say they want a “cool girl,” they essentially want a woman who is willing to change herself to make herself more palatable and appealing readily. Unfortunately, it is a quick habit to fall into, especially with the rampant social expectations and constantly fluctuating social media trends. At the end of the day, we all want to be the “cool girl” because we constantly see it on television and social media. 

However, at the end of the day, it is important to choose what you like rather than what someone else, like a partner or celebrity, is telling you to like. We create our identities, not other people. We are already our own “cool girls” without even trying. 

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