It’s spooky season! If this sounds familiar to you reading my article, it is because it is the same opener I used in my very first article that I published about a year ago. In this article, I examined one of the things our society views as a monster, the menstrual cycle, and attempted to make it less scary. If you are interested in reading more about this topic go read my article here. This spooky season I am setting out to demystify another thing often seen as scary, especially during this season: being alone.
Cuffing season is known by many as the time of year when the air gets a little bit crisper and it feels that much nicer to have another person’s hand in yours. During cuffing season, beginning in the fall, many try to spend the colder months in a short-term relationship. In this manner, people link up with others or “cuff” themselves together, perhaps more because of convenience or other external factors than love.
During this time I begin to notice the couples walking hand and hand down West Pine, posting aesthetic matching Instagram stories at Eckert’s, holding one another tight down the row at the scary movie and any number of other fall couple activities. Something about the cooler weather makes the heart grow lonelier and makes the fall relationship aesthetic seem even more desirable. But going through this season alone can be equally fun and in some ways more freeing. Learn to embrace the solitary times, and remember that sometimes, not being “shackled” to someone else is not the worst thing in the world. There is power in spending time by ourselves, while, of course, doing lots of fall things.
Embracing the fall weather by yourself can allow you to be more intentionally reflective. The changing weather and colors serve as a reminder that fall can bring about changes in our mental and emotional state, too. For many students a bit further from home, fall and Thanksgiving breaks often are the first trips back of the semester. Even if it is not the first trip back, returning always adds a new layer of experiences of whatever home looks like. Whether this experience is fun, happy, melancholy, unfamiliar, confusing or any combination of emotions it pushes us to reevaluate our relationships. It is no wonder that we search for comfort in others around us on campus, especially as these relationships become more familiar.
Similarly, our mental health can change as a result of changing weather and daylight patterns. As it gets colder outside, study sessions out on the quad become less accessible, and the walks back to one’s dorm room become lit by artificial lampposts. On a more serious note, Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD becomes more prevalent, adding an extra burden to an already busy college life. According to Psychiatry.org SAD affects more than 5% of adults in the United States and is more common among women than men. Forming deeper connections with those around us can provide the support we need to get through these tough times. While there is no simple nor completely effective way to avoid the negatives of this changing time, there are some things we can do that can make this time feel easier.
Secondly, I cannot stress enough how important it is to get outside, if just for a little while each day. Campus walks always boost my energy and leave me feeling rejuvenated and more connected to campus. As things cool off and the leaves start to change, embrace those campus walks before the cold and the shorter days make this impossible.
You don’t have to be with a special someone to breathe in the fall air and embrace the season of change. More so, it is important to embrace all the opportunities fall has to offer even if it isn’t on “dates.” Why miss out on all these wonderful things just because there isn’t a romantic partner to share them with? Spending time by yourself can be just as powerful and sometimes even more so. Similarly, your friends are likely going through the same struggles so it can be a good time to come together even more and maybe even go on “friend dates.” By coming together with friends and family this season doesn’t have to feel so lonely. Because being single does not have to mean being lonely! You will get infinitely more out of this season of change if you embrace it than if you miss out on it.