“Another Breath”: a Poem

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL IDEATION

It is hard

to want to breathe

when you don’t

want to live. 

It is hard

to keep filling

your lungs

when it feels

easier to just stop. 

Everyone around me

says, 

“One day at a time”

but 

one day is 

followed by another

and then another

and then 

it’s been

a month

and then

it’s been

twelve 

and

I have another

birthday and

they say 

“look,

you made it

another year!

See, you can

do it.” 

Yet,

I am not really

making it,

I am simply 

breathing. 

It is all

numb,

it is all gray.

I might be

alive but

the world is

dead around me 

and 

I am only

doing the

motions of living. 

Training myself

to smile,

training myself

to seem full of

life

though

my existence is 

only for them

because I don’t 

want it. 

Yet,

I am still inhaling

in through my nose

and exhaling

out through my mouth

telling myself, 

you should still

be here,

you should still

want to be surviving.

You should still 

be taking it

in small strides

like everyone

is already

telling you.

And I won’t 

stop breathing

because 

I can see

the fear

in their eyes

at the thought

that I might. 

And

I couldn’t leave

them here,

because I 

know they are 

scared too 

and I know 

they are tired too

so, 

I breathe.

In & out.

Breathe. 

In & out.

Another Breath.  

In & out.

• breathing
• mental health
• Suicide