Picture this: you’re eating dinner in your favorite restaurant. You look to your right and what do you see? A beautiful, vivacious woman sitting across from the most mediocre looking, uninteresting man. The woman is having a seemingly passionate conversation (with herself) while the man is ignoring her and ever so “covertly” checking football scores on his phone under the table. You’re astounded! Why is this beautiful woman wasting her time with such a terrible man? Most likely, this isn’t the first time you’ve seen an unexpected pairing such as this and it certainly won’t be your last. Unfortunately, this woman could even be you!
So why is it that women settle for such terrible men? Not only are these men unattractive in the material sense, they are also unintelligent and, to be blunt, a waste of time. I believe there are two main contributors as to why women fall into this unfortunate cycle of settling: the media and societal pressures.
Close your eyes and think of your favorite Adam Sandler movie. Now I want you to picture his love interest. It could be Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore or even his actual wife, Jackie Titone. Though Adam Sandler is considerably funny, do you really expect me to believe that he could catch the eye of Jennifer Aniston? I mean have you seen his streetwear? Yet, the media is constantly pairing beautiful models with “funny,” unattractive men in popular movies. The media is constantly promoting the idea that it is okay for attractive, bright women to settle down with extremely mediocre men.
Putting looks aside, the media also convinces young women that it is okay to settle down with the classic egotistical boyfriend. This is best exemplied in my favorite TV show: “Sex and the City.” Now don’t get me wrong, I love Miss Carrie Bradshaw; however, she ends up settling for a walking red flag of a man! Carrie is constantly chasing Big around, begging him to commit to her, and hoping he will eventually change his bachelor ways. Carrie constantly puts up with the bare minimum from Big and forgives him every time he comes running back. So if this relationship seems so terrible…why are we all secretly rooting for them? The media romanticizes toxic relationships to the point where young, impressionable women start to believe this behavior is normal! I’ve put up with it, you’ve put up with it and every woman in the world has probably put up with a toxic man at some point!
In my opinion, this all goes back to the societal pressure women put on themselves to find a partner. I mean think about it, how many times has your grandma, aunt, cousin or even a distant relative asked you, “Is there a current man in your life?” It’s a lot, right? Now, think about male counterparts in your family. Can you name a single occasion where your brother was asked the same? The answer is most likely zero. No wonder women settle into relationships! We are sick of being pestered by ridiculous questions about our love lives.
Relationship therapist Natasha Sharma puts it best: “Being in a relationship is still largely and generally regarded as a badge of honour and success at life, and as such, it makes sense why many young women find partners for the sake of being part of a partnership, as opposed to truly making a conscious decision to choose a particular person to share a portion of their life with.” Instead of viewing romantic relationships as a plus to an already fulfilled life, many women are convinced by their peers that a relationship is the key to happiness. Oftentimes, these outside pressures convince many women to stay in mediocre, unhappy relationships.
Moral of the story: please do not settle for a terrible man just because the media and your family have convinced you that being in a relationship will make you happy. Do you really want to be the girl in the restaurant embarrassed by her mediocre boyfriend who doesn’t even pay attention to her? No! Remember, don’t let the toxic men in your life drag you down with them.