“Here comes goodbye /
Here comes the last time /
Here comes the start of every sleepless night /
The first of every tear /
I’m gonna cry /
Here comes the pain /
Here comes me /
Wishing things had never changed.”
If you’re looking for a good song to add to your “Crying in the Car” playlist, the lyrics above are from “Here Comes Goodbye,” which is sung by everybody’s favorite country band, Rascal Flatts. Are you catching the vibe of this article yet?
It’s all about goodbyes.
Personally, I’m not really a fan of goodbyes, nor have I perfected the art of saying goodbye. However, if I do find the secret recipe for saying goodbye, I’ll be sure to write a follow-up article to let you all know what that secret is!
It’s that time of year again. Classes are dwindling down, summer is approaching and graduation is right around the corner. As a college senior, I can testify to the notorious catchphrase, “Time flies when you’re having fun!” College has definitely been fun, but with graduation nearing, it is seemingly impossible to not feel nostalgic for the past four years that have shaped me into who I am today.
The thing about goodbyes is that they feel so permanent. It’s like drawing a line in the sand from what was then to what is now. The finality of goodbyes is what makes them so hard, so unapproachable. Might as well run the other way and avoid them at all costs right? I love avoiding my problems as much as the next girl, but honestly, that never does me any good in the long run. Shocking, I know! In light of transparency, goodbyes are the transition to things that are bigger and better. Yes I know, it’s hard to see and understand now, but your future self will be grateful that you took the time to say a proper goodbye. The thing about goodbyes is that they permit this: the gratitude you feel in your soul for all the glimmers you’ve experienced, which is what makes saying goodbye
so.
Effing.
Hard.
In order to flourish, we have to accept the reality of goodbyes being a part of life. That’s the first step: we have to voluntarily accept them. As much as we want to resist them, the worse the goodbye will actually be. Whether the goodbye is to a friend, a chapter of your life, a place where you’ve lived or an old part of who you used to be. The first step is to accept that we must say goodbye. The second part about goodbyes is that we must accept them without conditions. And what exactly does it mean to accept a goodbye without conditions? Well, I’m so glad you asked. Accepting the goodbye without conditions means that you accept and say goodbye without knowing what will come next. Without knowing that you’ll have just as many fun memories in the next place you will live as you did this one. Without knowing that you’ll meet new friends who bring you as much joy as your current friends do. Without knowing that this small next step you’re taking is going to bring you to far better places you could have ever imagined. While yes, saying goodbye is inevitably hard, it’s also pushing you to grow into the person you were meant to be.
Growth could not be possible without glimmers. Glimmers are moments I like to categorize as times unexpected in the day where you feel at peace, energized, nourished, fulfilled, etc. They can be simple moments throughout the day, yet they fill your soul more than they’ll ever know. Glimmer moments are the times in your day when you pause and say: “This must be the place.” They vary in what they look like in your life but could include:
- A casual stroll outside when the wind is not too windy, the weather feels just right and it appears that all is right in the world.
- Laughing so hard you start crying about something that doesn’t make any sense but, nonetheless, you keep laughing.
- Feeling accomplished at the end of the day for all the hard you put in that day.
- Smiling at the end of a tough workout and celebrating all your body can do.
- Taking the desperately needed alone time to rest by yourself, for yourself.
- The interplay of the sun through the tree branches on your drive home.
- The first sip of coffee and realizing you made it just right.
Glimmer moments allow you to embrace that you might not know what tomorrow, next week, next month or next year looks like but despite all the unknowns, you have these small, nourishing moments all for yourself that you can rely on to fill you up. These things are still of value despite the upcoming, and dare I say, unavoidable change that is up ahead. Yes, saying goodbye is hard, that I will not deny. But it’s important to find joy in the small things because these things, these moments, are what we remember in the end. We don’t remember the days or the tests or the hours spent at the library or the bad grade we got or who said what that made us upset. We remember the little glimmering moments. And those are the moments that we take with us as we transition into the unknown.
So, here it comes.
It’s finally here.
Are you ready for it?
Goodbye.