To this day, no show has ever had a more meaningful impact on my identity and life than “Gilmore Girls.”
I started following the iconic two women who lead the drama, Rory Gilmore, and her mother, Lorelai, when I was thirteen-years-old and became especially attached to Rory. At the time, Rory was the only TV character with whom I really resonated. She always had her nose in a book, was extremely close with her mom, could talk smartly about pop culture, books and movies and most of all, was starkly independent.
Without realizing it, I began to measure my life through Rory’s timeline.
As I approached my sweet sixteen, I, too, insisted on wearing a happy birthday crown, but decided against the hot pink boa. Starting high school, I romanticized the private schoolgirl uniform I wore every day and felt giddy when my backpack was heavy with books. I showed off my love of reading as a core piece of my identity. Rory’s high school graduation speech continues to perfectly encapsulate my relationship with my mom, and to this day, makes both of us tear up every time.
When I went to college, I dreamed that my mom would sleep over because we just couldn’t bear to be apart from her–this, of course, never came to fruition since the pandemic took away the final months of my senior year and my freshman year of college, too. Like Rory, I have loyally been involved in student media, where I have poured my heart outside of the classroom. I desperately wanted my first night putting together the school newspaper to feel just like the season 6 episode, “Friday Night’s Alright for Fighting,” when Paris breaks down as the Editor in Chief and Rory and Logan must swoop in to save the day and get the paper to the printer on deadline–it’s not quite the same, but still exhilarating and full of sweet anticipation.
She was my blueprint, but not because I idolized something beyond myself. Rather I have just always seen something of myself in her. Our interests aligned, and when something happened in my life, I couldn’t help but ask, “What would Rory do?”
As I grew older, I also understood her more. In the first seasons, Rory is the poster child of academic success and good moral behavior, but in the later seasons, there are cracks in Rory’s ambition and belief in herself.
While the later seasons are where Rory garners the most hate, I can’t help but still resonate with the criticism that she receives after she drops out of Yale, steals a boat and moves in with her grandparents. Yes, Rory is spoiled, and yes, Rory is the worst communicator possible in a relationship, yet these qualities don’t offput me–they remind me that Rory is human. I, too, feel the weight of precariously holding myself on an academic pedestal and fear watching all of my ambition crumble before my eyes before I get a chance to prove myself. I, too, am beyond grateful for the opportunities I have been given, but every once in a while I wonder what people would think if I did something so unlike myself and so out of character. Like Rory, people tend to think of me as the bookish one, the quiet one, and I wonder how my life would change if I stopped being this person and instead entertained another version of who I could be.
I just turned 22-years-old, and the current chapter of my life is suddenly mirroring the final episodes of the show, when Rory graduates from college and is propelled forward into the real world. Now, I will have to make decisions without my comfort character standing beside me, and in just ten short years, I will be the same age as Lorelai in the first season.
As I get older and have to live without Rory constantly in the back of my mind, I will always remember the ways in which her character has raised me. Rory taught me that it’s cool to love school, that there’s nothing wrong with having a best friend in my mom and that there are very few things that a fresh cup of coffee won’t fix.
Moreover, “Gilmore Girls” has ultimately taught me that growing up might be scary, but there are so many exhilarating moments waiting for me after college. Maybe I will end up in a small, eccentric town, maybe I will find myself teaching at a private high school or perhaps even fall in love with the owner of my favorite coffee shop–the options are endless. I may be leaving the Rory timeline of my life behind, but there is still so much ahead of me, and I will always remember how she made me the woman I am today.