So You Thought “Fleabag” Was Sad?

Warning: This article contains spoilers for “Fleabag”

“Fleabag” is a difficult, uncomfortable and, sometimes, unbearable watch. As the viewer, you are forced to watch the nameless protagonist, commonly referred to as “Fleabag,” make the same mistakes over and over again. She is a woman who is traumatized by grief and sexualized by society. Despite its comedic relief, the show still proves to be a bleak and pessimistic view of the patriarchy, mental health and hypersexuality. However, despite its nihilistic portrayal of life, society and death, “Fleabag” shows that the cycle of self-destruction and self-hatred can end in a tour-de-force of drama, rage and grief. 

“Fleabag” is a British comedy-drama directed by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, based on her one-woman show that she first performed in 2013. Waller-Bridge both directs and portrays the main character to convey her message more effectively. The show originally aired on BBC, but it is now available to stream on Amazon Prime. It follows the tragic story of the protagonist, who remains nameless but it can be inferred that she is the “Fleabag” of the show. As Waller-Bridge explained, “I wanted something that would create an immediate subtext for the character. So, calling her ‘Fleabag,’ calling the show ‘Fleabag,’ gives the subtext of ‘Fleabaggy-ness.” She is a flawed, morally gray character that the audience is supposed to both relate to and critique. 

Waller-Bridge utilizes unconventional methods so that we as an audience can get a better understanding of Fleabag. At the end of the show, we have a pretty intimate understanding of both her psyche and identity. Waller-Bridge accomplishes this level of intimacy by having Fleabag break the fourth wall constantly. Fleabag quite literally talks to the audience—a lot. Oddly enough, none of the other characters notice her talking to herself or the audience. Many speculate that Fleabag suffers from some form of schizophrenia or a form of dissociation. Either way, the audience serves as Flebag’s private confidants, giving us a vulnerable and honest portrayal of a grieving, traumatized woman. 

In the show, Fleabag attempts to navigate grief after the deaths of both her mother and her best friend Boo. Simultaneously, she tries to manage her failing small business, a deteriorating relationship with her older sister and begrudging acceptance of her new quirky stepmother. As a result, Fleabag exhibits some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms throughout the show, chiefly her rampant sexuality. Fleabag has lived in a world where she thinks she is only appreciated for her sexual appeal and, as a result, she believes her body is the only facet of her identity that gives her intrinsic value. As Waller-Bridge stated, “[‘Fleabag’] was really about a woman who felt she was valued primarily by her sexual desirability. And I wanted to write about that in a way that was accessible and funny so people didn’t realize that’s what it was about until it sneaks up on you.” Despite being framed as a comedy, the show displays the harsh realities of grief, trauma and mental illness. 

Even with the comedic relief, many consider “Fleabag” to be a sad watch. Oftentimes, it feels like nothing will get better. Both Fleabag and the audience feel the same existential dread. Originally, the original play for “Fleabag” was bleak and depressing. While there has been much debate on whether or not the show “Fleabag” has a happy ending or not, the play makes it explicitly clear that there is no redemption or escape for Fleabag. In the show, the ending leaves much interpretation to the audience. We get to decide how we feel about the ending, something that is refreshing to the viewer since the entire show forces the viewer to examine and think about uncomfortable topics and scenarios. 

I cried at the end, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I think the ending or the show in general is sad. Let me explain: 

Even though “Fleabag” deals with some pretty unhealthy topics, I think the inherent message of the show is positive, and it’s even more cliché than you might guess. It’s simple: love yourself. I know that phrase might make some people gag or roll their eyes, but regardless, Waller-Bridge is trying to tell her audience to accept their flaws as a part of their identity. 

It is no secret that Fleabag struggles with her self-image. Her self-image appears to be completely reliant on others. She craves approval from her older sister Claire and acceptance from her “broken” family. In addition, her self-image is also heavily dependent on the number of men she sleeps with. Fleabag uses her body and sexuality to get herself out of precarious situations; she uses it as a tool. She also doesn’t appear to enjoy sex. It seems to be all that she knows. It’s the only form of coping she has available since she refuses alternative forms of support. When she does receive support, she deflects with comedy, one of her other common coping mechanisms. Fleabag is a woman who doesn’t take herself seriously and doesn’t value herself. 

At the end of the series, Fleabag finally learns to love herself. In the final scene, the Priest, played by Andrew Scott, rejects Fleabag’s advances, and the two of them finally end their sacrilegious affair. In the past, this rejection would have devastated Fleabag. In season one, Fleabag cannot even fathom that her boyfriend would want to break up with her. She is in denial and believes that her boyfriend will come crawling back to her. When she finds out her boyfriend has a new girlfriend, Fleabag is in even more anguish. If her ex-boyfriend can be in a happy, healthy relationship without her, why can’t she do the same? This perpetuates Fleabag’s self-hatred even more. Yet when the Priest rejects her, she doesn’t seem to care as much.

Why is that? Because Fleabag learned to love herself. The rejection was helpful. The Priest explains to Fleabag that he chooses his vow to celibacy over her and that his relationship with God is more important; he tells her that her supposed love for him “will pass.” Even though her advances are rejected, the fact Fleabag even admits to being in love with him is a huge step forward for her after participating in strictly meaningless sex. This is a giant leap for her in terms of repairing her issues with intimacy and vulnerability. The Priest leaves Fleabag at the bus stop. 

After the rejection, she holds a statue of a gold naked woman close to her heart. While the golden statue formerly served as a symbol of Fleabag’s defiance and rebellion, the statue begins to take on a new meaning in this moment. Her stepmother, formerly her godmother, made the statue for Fleabag’s deceased mother. When Fleabag holds the statue close to her heart, she recognizes that she doesn’t need to defy her family but accept them. This action also reaffirms Fleabag’s commitment to keeping her mother’s memory alive. 

Fleabag then leaves, shaking her head and waving goodbye to the audience. Not only has Fleabag given up on the Priest, but she has also given up on us as the audience. Both the audience and the Priest fed into her self-destruction and perpetuated her delirium. She is ready to be independent. Her self-worth is no longer dependent on others. 

The ending of “Fleabag” is subtle. It isn’t dramatic or fast-paced like the rest of the show. Fleabag doesn’t resort to rebellion or defiance, a common behavior she exhibited throughout the series to spite those who anger or inconvenience her. The ending is almost like the calm after the storm. Fleabag’s rebellion is over. 

Even though the ending might leave a lump in your throat, this ending is the best outcome for Fleabag. If her endeavor with the Priest had been successful, it would have perpetuated her cycle of meaningless sex and self-destruction. Her failure acts as redirection, pushing her to improve her behavior and seek help. All the circumstances leading to this epiphany are, by definition, sad, but Fleabag is finally free from this cycle. She can begin a new version of herself and start an era of self-improvement. 

That’s what I call a happy ending. 

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