My social media has been highlighting young couples who brag about their DINK lifestyle. The comments on these videos are almost always split between enthusiastic support and deeply affronted opposition. As a young Gen-Z woman and an aspiring DINK, here is my perspective on the controversy.
So, what does DINK even stand for? DINK means Dual Income No Kids and the label is attributed to a lifestyle for dual income non-parent couples.
Online, DINK couples can be found carefree and happily cooking, traveling, gaming and more together. If you search “DINK lifestyle” on TikTok, It is not difficult to spot the many reasons people who encounter DINK posts would find the lifestyle appealing or might be persuaded towards the label.
According to a Pew Research Center report, 57% of U.S. adults without kids under the age of 50 say they’re unlikely to ever have kids. There are many reasons for not wanting to have kids, such as fear of repeating parenting patterns or the current state of the planet. However, if you wanted to ask, many adults would likely say their reasoning is because they simply just do not want to.
So, what is going on with the backlash of the DINK lifestyle? Generations clash in comment sections under these videos, butting in with opinions about the couple’s decision to not have kids. More and more young people are choosing not to have kids, but there seems to be some reluctance to accept this fact. Typically, older generations like Boomers of Gen-X find the lifestyle difficult to palette in these comment sections.
According to another Pew Research Center survey, 47% of U.S. adults say fewer people choosing to have kids will have a negative impact on the country.
People against the lifestyle are consistently involved in comment sections of DINK posts. Generally, those disapproving of the lifestyle say that DINKs have no purpose in life without kids.
Being a DINK is more than just the benefits, it involves the active agreement of two partners to not have kids, and dealing with a reluctant and harsh society because of that fact. DINKs have to constantly prove that they can still have fulfillment without having kids.
In my experience, it is quite frustrating to relay my future plans, which do not include having kids. The generational division becomes apparent when I tell my parents or older people. I always hear the same thing, “you’ll change your mind.” I have not changed my mind and I will never change my mind. I just do not want to be a parent and I do not have to be.
Social media is particularly helpful to the DINK cause. Many couples cite benefits, like disposable income and travel. In the age group under 50, about six in ten people say that not having children has made it easier to be successful in their careers and social lives.
I love seeing couples embracing and normalizing the DINK lifestyle. It is evidence that contrary to typical cultural attitudes, fulfillment is possible for couples who do not want to have kids. The lifestyle does not resonate with everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that. The point of the lifestyle is not at all to shame parents, but to uplift an alternative.
The controversy is unwarranted. I do not think it is right to shame parents for having kids, just as it is not right to shame non-parents for not having kids. We should not feel entitled to tell people how to live their lives, no matter what path they choose.
I do not ever want kids. Time and time again, my partner and I have been made to feel bad for our decision. I love seeing happy couples thriving by living the life we want to live. I’m excited to incorporate the DINK lifestyle into our future.
The DINK lifestyle is not for everyone, that much is clear. I think it’s exciting that more young people are acknowledging and embracing non-parent lifestyles. I really appreciate the new wave of social media posts highlighting this new alternative way of life. My partner and I feel very validated in our agreement to not have kids.
In today’s world, the number of people wanting to be child-free is increasing and unavoidable. It is time to respect people who do not want to have kids.