Unlucky Girl Syndrome

If you know me, you know that my life is plagued by a series of unfortunate events. No matter how much evil eye jewelry I am decked out in, I need something stronger to protect me, perhaps something along the lines of a baseball bat. 

The internet’s latest manifestation method, known as “lucky girl syndrome,” teaches that by affirming yourself with thoughts such as, “I’m such a lucky girl” and, “Only good things happen to me,” in turn, good things will happen. This manifestation tactic doesn’t apply to me in the slightest, no matter how much I try to believe in it. No matter how delusional I am in trying to manifest positive claims like that, it has proved time and time again as ineffective. 

Contrarily, there are those of us out there, who suffer from “Unlucky Girl Syndrome.” These are the people who are definitely not God’s favorites, that are constantly cursed with bad luck no matter how much they try to change their fate. 

During heavy thunderstorms, you will find me inside. Why? Because I am convinced that the second I step foot outside, I will get struck by lightning. Knowing me, this isn’t a crazy assumption–it’s a likely possibility. I often wonder where my luck went so horribly wrong. Did that one time I stepped on a crack bring forth all this bad luck? Or was it the first, second or third time I broke a mirror? 

Many unfortunate situations ensued just in the past two years since entering college. I’ve gotten hit by a car simply from crossing the street. I somehow broke my shoulder from slipping in the shower. I’ve dropped a plethora of items down the elevator shaft. I’ve accidentally eaten not one, but two of my teeth. My credit card information has been stolen a few more times than I’d like to admit. And, for God’s sake, I slipped on a banana peel, my own banana peel. The list goes on and on and on.

I’ve had people tell me that the reason I’m “unlucky” is because I believe that I am unlucky. If I stopped thinking I am unlucky and started adopting the “lucky girl” mindset, my luck would automatically shift. The thing is, I’ve tried. I’ve wanted to be delusional and believe that every good thing in sight is mine and everything will work out my way, but that type of thinking doesn’t prevent bad things from happening. I’ve learned that the only thing that will keep me in one piece is staying in my room, and even then, probably covered in bubble wrap. 

From my many chaotic stories, you can probably gather that I have been blessed with bad luck. Not cursed, blessed. Every single so-called “bad” thing turns into a lesson, or at least it keeps me sane to believe that. I don’t stress about the next bad thing that will happen to me, I just let it happen. It keeps me sane believing that these bad things aren’t happening to me, rather they are happening for me. Sometimes, unluckiness is luck in its own silly way. 

I think about the odds that these things could happen, but then I think about the odds that these things would happen to me. I’ve learned that this lifestyle is inevitable, and possibly even meant for me. Maybe I am God’s favorite because I was chosen to have this crazy life that others couldn’t handle in the same way that I do. 

Here are some things I’ve learned from being “unlucky.”

1. You have way more stories to tell than most.

Everyone will think you have the most interesting and absurd life. Storytelling helps get the laughs out and realize how silly each story truly is.

2. Always take a picture

It’ll be funny to look back in a week, a month or even a year to think that something like that even happened. I have an album on my phone containing only pictures of me in the hospital after a few unfortunate incidents.

3. How to gracefully take L’s 

I’ve learned how to fall down with grace. How to nonchalantly cover up my food spillages. Take the L, but always make sure to bounce back from it. 

4. I am indestructible.

I always joke that I have used up more than my seven lives allocated to me already. No matter what has happened, or what is to come, I know I can handle it. If a car were to hit me again, it would just be a part of my daily routine. 

No matter how often something goes the wrong way, I still believe in the idea that everything will work out in the end. I recognize that I had good luck in the parts of my life that matter. I have amazing friends, family and now, amazing stories, as well. So, embrace your “unlucky girl syndrome” because someone has to take one for the team. Or, as my friends say, take one for every team. 

• bad luck
• Lucky Girl Syndrome