I’d like to preface this article with the statement that not everyone’s anxiety looks the same. In fact, it is probably rare to have the exact same sentiments as someone else. For me, I first felt these feelings in high school. However, those feelings have taken different forms since I’ve been in college. Specifically last year, my freshman year, it took form in staying up until 3 am, worrying about assignments and presentations that I could not control beyond having completed them. Of being so nervous to go to my 12 pm class that I would get up at 8 am and panic until 11:45 am. Of having constant fears that people were staring at me in the dining hall. As if anyone actually gave a shit about what I looked like on a Tuesday at lunch. Of controlling what I ate because I felt like I could control literally nothing else. Of thinking that people were always mad at me…even though I hadn’t done anything to them. Of being so worried that people thought I was weird that I didn’t talk in class even if I had the answer or if I was confident in my opinion. Of overwhelming panic attacks. Of sometimes not knowing what the hell I was even anxious about. This year, not much of that has changed. But I know why I have those feelings and I know how to better deal with them. Anxiety is not something to be ashamed of and is actually so common that more than 18% of people in the U.S. have an anxiety disorder. Here’s what I do to help alleviate some of the overwhelming feelings that do not deserve more than a small place in my busy head.
-
Remind yourself that your anxious thoughts are not your thoughts. They are just functions of anxiety and they are rarely reasonable, although you are more than entitled to your feelings. Remember, hindsight is 20/20 but try to separate what is really important from useless worry. Mountain or molehill?
-
Grounding. Look for 5 things you can see. 4 things you can feel. 3 things you can hear. 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste. I know it sounds like some sort of stupid game but I swear it helps, at least for me, as a distraction mechanism.
-
Self-affirmation. This is not necessarily looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you’re hot. But hey – sometimes it is. Cause you are. Come up with a list of things you love about yourself. This does not make you conceded, trust me, I already asked my therapist. It makes you remember to love yourself when your anxiety refuses to let you. My list, to name a few is: “I am beautiful”, “I am kind”, “I’m a good daughter”, “I want to help others”. When you are anxious, remind yourself of these things.
-
Know that it’s (really!!) ok to take a nap. Or read a book. Or take a bath. Or watch Netflix. Or listen to John Mayer shamelessly on repeat. Take time for yourself. It just might help you get your shit together.
-
Talk to someone. Or don’t. But know that people do care, even if they cannot fully understand the way you’re feeling. They just might be able to help. And even though it sucks to have someone tell you you’re being unreasonable, because it feels like you can’t help it, sometimes a reality check is exactly what you need.
-
This too will pass. Yes, it feels like you are fighting yourself. But that means you can win the fight. Sometimes you just have to let the wave pass.
-
Remind yourself that you are deserving of love from yourself (the best kind of love). You are not the only one who experiences anxiety, but you are the only one who knows the exact feelings of your anxiety. You can be your own antidote. You are powerful despite your feelings of helplessness.
-
Call it stupid but breathing really makes a world of difference. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Unclench the tightness in your muscles and focus on something over which you can be in total control.