This normal is no longer “new;” it is just normal now. Time to start accepting the harsh hand 2020 dealt out. Yes, it sucks, yes there are way less handshakes and hugs now (but luckily, you always have an excuse to not hug that creepy uncle!); there are pros and cons to it. But let’s start realizing that these quick changes due to the health and security of others, have very quickly become consistent.
A friend pointed out to me that at this point, we are going to be home for as long as we were at school. Yikes, not my ideal situation, and definitely not how I thought my college career would go. This is supposed to be the time of gaining ~independence~ and ~self discovery,~ as Jesse Itzler always says “your twenties are the time to explore and try everything.” But how are we supposed to explore and self discover when we’re stuck in our hometowns, and surrounded by the same people we have been our whole lives? March through May taught me a lot. It showed me what depression looks like on me, someone who has often been seen as having their life together. It taught me what it felt like to not get out of bed, to not have motivation, to not be able to do the activities, like sports, that I loved most. COVID-19 forced us all to grow up quickly; we experienced it at an age that we are conscious of what is happening. We won’t forget this time in our lives; that leaves us one option: to learn and grow from it.
That being said, here are my lessons: from living at home for six months when I did not want to, living with someone with a compromised immune system during a pandemic and the stress that comes with that, having summer plans, and two trips abroad stripped from me, then a few weeks having to take quarantining on campus very seriously. Maybe it’s all things you’ve already heard, but maybe it will make you rethink a thing or too.
-
Accept what you cannot control, change what you can. We’ve been given an expedited lesson about realizing that very little in our life is subject to our complete control. It sucks, and it is hard to accept. But you can control your mindset, your habits, the people in your life and how you treat them, and these are really the things that make up our lives. Make them positive things.
-
Mantras work wonders. They will get you through anything. Build yourself up, you deserve it. There were times in quarantine that this is what held my tears literally inside me, just repeating to myself time after time, “I am strong,” “I’ve been through worse,” “I can do this.” There is no shame in doing this; there is strength in being able to recognize your needs.
-
Dive into your life ‘narrow and deep.’ In learning and growing and expanding our world and mindset, we all have a few options. At the moment, it’s been harder to explore vast, wide spaces. But you can still grow as a human by exploring the same hiking trail day in and day out. Consistently show up for yourself, and each day when you do, you’ll be a slightly different person exploring that hiking trail. And that makes the whole experience a little bit different.
-
It’s cheesy. But romanticize your life. Do it: find joy in the sunset, and your morning cup of coffee. Think of your life like a book, the good and the bad moments, how would you describe it in a way that someone would want to read?
-
Every chance you get, do what you want, regardless of what others will think: chase what you want, like truly and seriously go after whatever brings you joy. When you are happy, others are going to be happy too, or want to be happy, and start chasing their joy too. It’s contagious, and demands respect from people. And those who don’t respect what brings you joy, will slip out from your life, and you will barely even notice.
-
Recognize your anxieties. And talk about them. This may not seem like it, but it’s about respecting your own boundaries, and what you need from people. Everyone has triggers, COVID-19 likely being one of all of ours, and that’s okay. But turn these triggers into your friend, and let them show you when to reevaluate your present situation. Ask yourself what you need in these moments to be a little bit more okay, and give yourself that.
-
Appreciate the people that stick by your side in your dark moments.
-
If you can’t travel to other places, bring other places to you: READ. One hundred percent, I would rather be jumping on a plane to drink Irish coffee, and eat French baguettes. However, given the circumstances, accept settling for picturing yourself on the beaches of Cuba while reading Next Year in Havana.
-
Literally delete anyone on social media, and out of your life, that is bringing you anxiety, hurting you or your self image, or bringing a negative presence into your life. There is absolutely no point in touching a healing wound time after time; if you do, it will not heal. Be real with yourself about what the people in your life are bringing into your life. Ask yourself simple questions like how you feel when you’re around them, and see what the answers are. Just because someone has been there for awhile, does not mean they’re still adding value to your life. You’ve heard it before but here it is again: click the unfollow button, literally, and figuratively. Vibes, energies? Those are real things, if you feel them. Don’t let someone else’s negativity consistently affect you.
-
Get outside: give yourself a quick break from the world. Staring at screens all day? You’re staring at other people’s ideas all day. Give your mind some time to wonder and explore for itself.
-
Your health is literally your end all be all; physical health and mental health, that is. It makes up your life, determines what you can and can’t do, and what everyday looks like. Prioritize it for what it’s worth, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad or weird for prioritizing those practices that keep you healthy.
If nothing else, I hope these show you that in the darkness and gloom, there is some good coming from it. There is light still, if we look for it.