Spending time alone can feel really lonely but with social media and phones, it’s easier than ever to have someone’s company. Recently, I’ve made it a goal to focus on myself and redirect my attitude with my time alone – because while it can be lonely, it can also be liberating, peaceful, and self-assuring. I want to shift my time alone from a time that I had once felt obligated to fill with doing something or being with someone to time that I can spend with myself doing things I love and investing in myself.
This shift isn’t just a trick to become more independent but rather a redirecting of my relationship with myself. All relationships are an investment, whether it be a romantic or platonic one. There is an effort in the latter two because I see a future with that person or because we enjoy each other’s company. Why would a relationship with myself be any different? Why deny myself the love, attention, and compassion I give to others so easily? My relationships with others require check-ins, attention, love, and compassion and so does my relationship with myself. Loving myself is not just telling myself I am beautiful, eating and working out, and getting good grades, but it is also enjoying my own company and investing time into becoming who I want to be.
This was not an easy shift to make and it almost felt like breaking an old habit. I first started with setting time for myself. For me, this was my morning and night routine. This is a time that I designated to doing things that are good for me and time that I can spend alone. One of my favorite things that I added to my morning routine this year was my morning walk, which I took with a roommate or by myself. This gave me time to get outside, which is important especially now, in a time of online classes and quarantine. When I went alone, I listened to a podcast: The Self Love Fix, which focuses on self-growth and loving yourself. After I set aside time to be alone and work on myself, I worked on doing things by myself. This meant doing things that I normally would ask for someone to go with me and instead, doing them alone. For me, this was going to the grocery store, Target, the library, or even the mailroom. This helped me realize that while I love spending time with others and the people I surround myself with, I am comfortable with my own company. When I am alone, it is not lacking anything or anyone. There is power in being your favorite company and as my favorite daily affirmation says: I am everything I need to be everything I want.