When someone says the word ‘feminine’ to you, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Do you think of makeup? High heels? Dolly Parton’s illustrious career? Well, what if I told you that all of those answers are right and all of those answers are wrong…This is because femininity cannot be defined in a word, phrase, or country love song. Femininity is unique and exists in all of us. Dictionary.com tells us that “femininity is the quality or nature of the female sex.” I wholeheartedly disagree. If that definition was accurate, then all females would be feminine and that is not the case. Femininity transcends gender. It is simply a quality that the soul emanates. So if femininity has nothing to do with sex or gender, what is it? It manifests in kindness and strength. Confidence, passion, and determination can all be uniquely feminine qualities. It manifests in walking into a board room and giving the best damn presentation your colleagues have ever seen. It’s standing up for a friend when you know there is a lot at stake if you do. It is more than hair, clothes, and shoes.
You might be thinking, Abb, I thought femininity was submissive and modest? As I expressed earlier, femininity is unique to the individual, so for some people those qualities might be applicable. I really dislike the definition we’re given in Merriam Webster, as it leads us to believe that femininity is innately weak. That if you wear heels or a skirt to a meeting, you are suddenly stripped of your validity in the office. That’s why I wanted to explain the power that femininity holds, what makes it fierce. Femininity is fierce. It’s saying “I like to wear nailpolish and I’m a confident, strong college student.” It’s saying, “the way I dress has nothing to do with my intelligence and experience.” Just take a note from Dolly’s playbook. She has been equal parts singer-songwriter, business woman, and beauty queen for 50 years. Just think if Dolly held back her femininity to be “taken seriously.” She has been successful because she has always been herself. The same goes for icons such as, RuPaul, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Rihanna. None of them would be here without channeling their fierce femininity. Don’t be afraid to channel your own fierceness. Take the risk, take a stand, and when in doubt, belt out “9 to 5” in the car. Just don’t underestimate the power your femininity holds and how far you can go by being yourself.