*Reminder: this is addressed to cat-callers specifically. Not the entire male population or any sect of the human population*
To All Cat-Callers,
(whether or not you know you are one)
For years I was warned about you. My mother would nearly have a stroke each time someone would “look” at her, my sister and me the wrong way. I would roll my eyes every time, saying she was crazy, and “What are they even looking at anyway?” I remember when I was younger, my girl friends and I would ocassionally get called out by you as middle school boys, while at the mall. At the time we were bashfully flattered, that 5’4” boys in flat-hats were so taken aback by our braces and Aeropostle t-shirts. Looking back it is simply evidence of how deep cat-calling runs in our culture.
Almost every day I run down route 15, a bustling four-lane road connecting Colchester to Winooski and Burlington. Each time without a doubt at least one of you, and more often than not more than one, beeps, whistles, or says something obscene to me as I run down the sidewalk.
Now, I know what you are thinking: “This is going to be an entire article of this collegiette ranting about how ‘offended’ she is, when in actuality she is truly flattered.” That could not be further from the truth. Your gestures do not compliment me whatsoever. They make me unbelievably uncomfortable, and scared.
First of all, do you think I am out here to pick up guys? Does my greasy pony-tail and bleach stained cross-country sweatshirt, reveal my attempts to reach the pinnacle of sex appeal? Sure, I’m wearing Nike running tights, but not to attract your eye. These pants are designed to make me feel powerful and strong while training, not bring on attention, which makes me feel defenseless and weak. Surely it was my hunched-over, grandma stride as I struggled up the hill before campus, which just threw you over the edge, leaving you unable to keep to yourself.
What do you expect to happen? For me to stop in my tracks, wink, and hop in your car? Of course not. According to Urban Dictionary (what better source for sleazy modern culture facts?), “99.9% of the time a hook-up does not arise [from a cat-call].” So if the general population is well aware that nothing ever arises from a cat-call, what keeps you going? The thrill of making me feel unsafe? That is definitely a fool-proof plan to gain someone’s respect, in the hopes of getting them to talk to you.
You are now definitely thinking, “Well, if I was an attractive guy then she would definitely be into it.” Still no. I wouldn’t care if you were a strikingly handsome 20-something, driving a brand new BMW, decked out in designer clothes, blasting my favorite song on the radio. I would still be horrified by your whistles, beeps and “Hey baby!” as you drove by.
Your cat-calling does not flatter, it terrifies. Each time someone experiences it their mind races to the worst case scenario. What if they don’t stop when I ignore them? What if they come closer to me? What if they follow me? Hopefully, these are not the thoughts you are looking to evoke in someone you actually find attractive. If you were genuinely interested in someone, you would try to make them feel comfortable, rather than vulnerable.
So, next time you roll down your window to whistle at someone out of it, or nudge one of your companions as someone walks by just before yelling demeaning words at them, think about why you’re doing it. Why purposefully make people going about their business feel threatened?
Sincerely,
A person merely requesting respect
(On behalf of all people subjected to cat-calling)