Almost two months into college and almost two months without motherly advice, it’s a miracle you’ve made it this far. By now, you’ve probably realized that not only does your mom have supernatural powers that keep her life and your life together, but she also knows just what to say and when to say it. As much as we all love our roomies and gal-pals, there are just some things they can’t help us with that we know our moms could.
1. Choose your friends wisely; you’re the average of your closest five
College is the place to make some of your best, lifelong friends. Well, moms remind you to choose your friends wisely because statistics show that you’re the average of your closest five friends from intellect and community service all the way down to income.
2. Change your pillowcase weekly to keep your hair from getting greasy
Mom always knew the remedies to all your hygiene mysteries, like “I just washed my hair last night. Why is it already this greasy?” or “I wash my face, mask it, and I’m not even stressed. Tell me, why am I breaking out?” She’d remind you that even if you are too lazy to change your sheets this week, at least change the pillowcase to keep your head and hair healthy and clean.
3. You can accomplish anything– a C or two won’t stop you
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Whenever you feel down about something that your friends can’t fix, mom is always the go-to. You leave her feeling reminded that you are a queen, because, let’s face it, you knew that all along you’d just temporarily forgotten how powerful you are after that little test mishaps you had the other day. She always reminds you to dream big because you really can do anything you want.
4. Take your vitamins
A college campus– specifically the residential halls– is an immune system war zone. Sickness and germs are literally everywhere; this is probably partially because mom isn’t here to remind you to take your vitamins. Vitamins fight off sickness and taste like candy, especially the gummies so there’s no reason not to take them.
5. Don’t re-apply lipstick at the dinner table– powder it instead
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Mom always told you to “mind your manners.” If you haven’t yet, college might be a good time to start. Re-applying your lipstick at the dinner table isn’t good table etiquette. But what’s a girl to do when she’s mid-conversation and the only thing left on her lips is liner? No worries, mom gave you a solution for that too. After applying your lipstick, tear off a square of toilet paper and peel it in-half, take the thin layer and place it on your lips over the lipstick, and finally take mineral powder or powder foundation and dab it on the toilet paper over your lips! This will keep your lipstick on your lips longer and keep it from smudging.
6. You are beautiful; your outfit is not
“Does this make my butt look big?” Even if your butt looks like the back of the Titanic your roommate might not say so, but your mom probably will, and she’ll say it in a way that keeps you feeling confident and beautiful. She’ll also let you know if your looking a little too easy in that super-mini skirt, crop top and stilettos that you almost walked out the door in.
7. Lay back on the junk and try to eat healthy
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Munching on snacks that aren’t so healthy is a sure way to gain that freshman 15, especially if mom isn’t there to remind you to eat healthy. So, maybe it’s time to ditch the Chips Ahoy! and switch it out for some fruit.
8. Don’t stress, you’ll get a cold sore
Sometimes you just need someone to tell you to not worry about it, let it go or just not to stress out. Mom would give you all the cons of stressing out in order to persuade you not to: acne, queasiness or a dreaded cold sore.
9. Use hairspray to remove that stain
In college, no one’s here to wash your clothes and rid them of the many stains that may come about. Well, when you lived at home, mom always knew what to do. Spraying aerosol hairspray on the stain immediately after the spill will remove it.
10. Cleanse your face with olive oil, you’ll look younger longer
Stress ages you, take a look at all our past presidents being elected into office and leaving office, for example. While college isn’t running a country, it’s still pretty stressful. Moms have a secret for that too. Moisturizing your face with olive oil will keep your skin wrinkle free and super soft.
As much as you hate to admit it, if mom didn’t share her super powers, you wouldn’t make it. It’s time to face the facts, mother knows best.
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