Like any good friend would do, I started snooping around my best friend’s closet, hoping to find some potential blouses to borrow for my next Thursday night out. I greedily stumbled across her mirrored dresser, wanting to also find some chunky necklaces to coordinate; only to discover what I thought was her 7th grade bra collection. To my horror, it was actually the bra’s she wears to date. The woven basket was filled with cotton catastrophes, the color nude was everywhere and most importantly lace was nowhere in sight. I realized that most girls wrongly look at lingerie as an unessential item, trading the leopard prints and vibrant reds for plain black strapless. After coming to that realization, I further comprehended the immense desperation and dire need for some simple rules of lingerie. Here they are.
- No cotton. You are 20, not 7.
- No strapless. Unless absolutely necessary to complete the outfit. For the record, strapless bras give you zero support whether you are an A or a DD. They simply let your boobs hang there. Let’s not be grandma’s.
- Red, black, pink, animal print. These are your new best friends. Get to know them well.
- No sequins. You want to look just sexy enough, not like a Vegas stripper.
- Get sized. I recently checked my friend out and asked her what bra size she wore. In my head, I immediately guessed a C. She shyly blurted out an A. I copped a feel and promptly told her she was out of her mind. If you are complaining of uncomfortability, it means you are wearing the wrong size, bottom line.
- Be mindful of what you’re wearing on the top and the bottom. Don’t wear a bright pink bra with teal underwear. Learn to go by color palettes. Pastel colors work well together, so do blacks and animal prints, and fuschias and reds.
- Itty bitty’s – don’t shy away from unlined, lace bras. These were specifically made for your body type! Embrace the lace. It’ll make you look petite, pretty, and dainty.
- Victoria Secret bombshells are every guy’s worst nightmare and every girl’s fantasy. Don’t fall into the trap of doubling your cup size. No guy wants to take off his girl’s bra and watch her boobs go with it.
- Know your curves. Underwear specifically depends on what you’re working with down below. If you don’t have a bubble butt, go for the cheeky style to amp up the roundness. If you do have a donk, flaunt it with lace and satin vstrings. Boyshorts are always a go to when your wanting to look like you aren’t trying.
- Throw away the old and in with the new. Everyone has that ratty old VS Pink thong with an 82 on it somewhere. It’s time to move on from the cotton and onto the lace. It gets addicting, I swear.