Near the end of October, college girls everywhere flock to costume shops, thrift stores, sewing machines and God knows what else to find that perfect Halloween costume, one that is equal parts festive and sexy. You know, something we can theoretically show our dads without feeling shame, but probably wouldn’t anyway, just in case.
Essentially 90% of female Halloween costumes walk that line while taking the form of a feminized/sexualized version of a person or profession. That isn’t to make it sound demeaning though! You can’t blame us for the strategy, can you? I mean, we could wear the exact outfit that actual female postal workers wear, but no boys, or even our friends or strangers for that matter, want to see us in a gender neutral get up that was designed to keep thigh friction sweat from at a minimum on hot summer delivery days. So “sexy mail girl” it is!
With all that in mind that still doesn’t mean that EVERY costume theme works as a feminized/sexualized version. Here are a few random ideas (which I’ve actually seen before) that all the girls out there should stay away from.
Sexy George Washington: You’re on the right track with a patriotic theme, that’s always popular, but NOTHING is going to make the old man with wooden teeth and white wig sexy, even if he is the founder of our country. I’m not saying you can’t dress up as a guy for Halloween, but trying to feminize George Washington, who is AN ALL AMERICAN MAN, isn’t easy. Stick with Betsy Ross or even Martha Washington.
Sexy Mom: There’s nothing sexy about being a mom at age 20.
Sexy Surgeon: Sexy Nurse? Sure. Sexy Doctor? Yes, and how empowered! Sexy surgeon? That’s basically the same as the other two, but with a surgical mask and blood on the head to toe scrubs. Too much, do less. This is Halloween, not REAL-oween.
Sexy Clown: Unless you think huge feet and nightmares are sexy……
Sexy Rhino: Contrary to “Mean Girls” folklore, not all animals translate into a successful, sexy Halloween costume. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that not even a leotard, heels, and carefully selected ears (and horn?) can save the disaster that would be a rhino costume. Bulky, dry skin, and hooves: Aaron Samuels probably won’t call you tomorrow.