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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Sonoma chapter.

So you and your boo are through. We know breakups suck. Here’s what you should remember to do to get over it, and for your own sanity and well-being.

Let yourself be sad. Unfortunately, sadness is part of the healing process. But it’s important to remember a few things during this period:

  1. You are smart. You are beautiful. You are capable of getting through this, and so much more. “Capable” is one of my favorite words because it reminds me that I can overcome and accomplish anything life throws at me. If this was your first serious breakup, it may be a bit harder to believe. But trust me, trust your mom, trust your sister and trust your best friend: you are smart. You are beautiful. And you can sure as hell get over this person.
  2. Their presence in your life did not and does not define you. You are, and always will be, your own person, and having someone love you does not make you any more or any less of that person.
  3.  It is perfectly okay to miss them. But often times, we realize later we just miss the routine. We miss having someone to call late at night when we’re lonely, or when we had a bad day (or a particularly good day). But that’s what friends are for. And let’s face it, when we enter a relationship, our friends can fall by the wayside. Take this time to make amends and catch up. Your buddies are also great for finally doing those things that you always wanted to do with your ex, but they were “too busy,” or it didn’t “interest” them. It’ll probably be more fun with your friends anyway!

Stay busy. This might go without saying, but it’s a lot easier to get sad if you’re always thinking about them, even if they were a total tool and not the one that got away.  Try making the transition back into single life by going out with friends, starting up a hobby, or joining a sport or club.

Focus on taking care of yourself. Self-love and self-care are two of the most important parts of the healing process. Take this time to get to know yourself, and become your own best friend. Knowing how to be single and be by yourself is a skill that will benefit you for the rest of your life, and the rest of your relationships. And if this seems totally impossible, there’s no reason you can’t look outwards for help, be it a friend, family member, or even a counselor. Remember, there is no shame in protecting your mental health.

Remember to stay positive. Even if this one seemed perfect, there are even better relationships ahead of you. Have fun and keep an open mind, and when you least look for it, love will come to you. If you put yourself out there, love will find you. Trust me. 

I'm Suzie, and I'm a senior at Sonoma State University! I'm a Peer Mentor, a member of SSU's Equestrian team, cat lover, tea drinker, avid book reader. I'm an anthropology major pursuing a career in higher education and student affairs as an advocate for student programs with a focus on diversity, mental health, and sexual assault awareness. I'm excited to gain experience learning about and raising awareness of current campus issues through writing for HerCampus!
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Carly is one of the CCs for Sonoma State University, and she is majoring in communications and minoring in sociology. She grew up in southern California, and even though she misses the warm beach, she really enjoys living in wine country in northern CA. She has always had a passion for writing and is so grateful that Her Campus allows her to share that love and encourage others to join in the fun.