When you read this article, Mothers’ Day will be over. If you went home for the weekend, you’ll be back at school. If you called home, you’ll have long since hung up the phone. If you didn’t do either of these things, you might feel guilty for not doing anything to observe the day, or maybe you forgot about Mothers’ Day entirely. Whatever you did or didn’t do, with the end of the semester quickly approaching, you won’t have much time to dwell on it. You’ll be back to worrying about finals, essays, and grades.
But that’s not fair. It’s not fair because mothers only have the one day that they are celebrated. Any of us could call, or visit, or send a card any day, or more than one day. I don’t know why Mothers’ Day is when it is, but the date itself is arbitrary. And if you only show appreciation for your mother on Mothers’ Day, then you’re missing the point.
I still live at home with my family. I specifically chose to attend Sonoma State so that I could live at home, which made affording college significantly easier for me. Therefore, I’m writing this article from the perspective of someone who sees her mother every day, not as the average college student who hopefully calls their mother once a week. Even if I did go away to college, I still would probably talk to my mother every day, because she’s my best friend and the smartest person I know and I have no idea what I would do without her. However, I understand that not everyone did or could make the same choice that I did, and I know that not everyone has the same relationship with their mother that I do with mine.
Since my brother left for college in the fall, he’s only called home a few times. When he does call, it is only because he needs something (usually money), and he generally only stays on the phone long enough to ask for what he needs. He doesn’t ask to speak to anyone else and he doesn’t ask how anyone is. He doesn’t do this out of rudeness, because my mother taught him manners just the same as she taught me, but out of genuine lack of interest. He seriously doesn’t care about other people, even his own family. My father had to remind him just to send a text message wishing my mother a happy birthday in March (ironically, my father had forgotten my mom’s birthday earlier in the week), and for our younger brother’s birthday in November, he sent a brief message to our mother asking her to pass along his birthday wishes, not sending a gift, or a card, or even calling home and wishing him a happy birthday himself.
I’m sure that everyone reading this article is a lovely person who would never disrespect their family the way that my brother disrespects me and my family. However, I think we all know how easy it is to take your mother for granted. She’s the one person who will always love you, no matter what, so people don’t always treat her as well as they should. And if you ask me, giving your mother a card, or flowers, or whatever other gift you may choose, isn’t enough to make up for all of the stress, and worry, and insomnia that we put our mothers through.
That’s why I titled this article, “Why Mothers’ Day isn’t Enough”, because I think that we should appreciate all of our loved ones all the time. I think that one day of treating someone exceptionally well isn’t enough to cancel out 364 days of taking them for granted. Whether or not you were able to celebrate Mothers’ Day with your mother, now is a good time to start making a habit of calling or visiting home more often and making sure that your family knows how much you appreciate them, while the idea is still fresh in your mind.
So should you call or visit home for Mothers’ Day? Certainly, I’m sure that your mother loves to see you and hear from you. But it’s important to show your appreciation for your mother more frequently than just once a year. If you couldn’t go home this year because Mothers’ Day is so close to finals this year, there’s no need to feel guilty. You can, and should, appreciate your mother on other days too. If you read this article, and decide to call your mother and tell her you love her, she’ll appreciate it. It won’t matter if you couldn’t call on May 8th. The date is not nearly as important as the sentiment.
(P.S. ~ For everyone whose mother is not in their life for whatever reason, I understand that Mothers’ Day may make you sad or uncomfortable, so I just want to let you know that I’m sending you lots of love. Also, as always, the utmost respect and appreciation for those who can’t be with their families on Mothers’ Day, or on any day, while serving our country overseas.)