Another VDAY, another holiday to poke fun at! Hopefully you guys checked out my “Perfect Emoticon for Every Situation” article because it was fire, obviously. I didn’t account for holidays in that though, so I’m going to take a wack at it, so they say, one last time.
* drum roll please *
Introducing the 8 Best Emoticons for Your V-Day Festivities
1. Smiling poop
I can see why you might have overlooked this one for such an occasion, but let me assure you, you would be amiss if you didn’t give this little guy a second chance. For those you ~happily~ single girls out there this emoticon might be perfect for describing your thoughts on the subject. If not, chocolate is the color of poop, just saying. Nothing wrong with sending a quick, “Thanks for the (poop emoji)!” On second thought maybe this is why I’m a single pringle?
2. Pizza
Yes, you can order a heart shaped pizza. Couldn’t find a dinner reservation- no biggie! Order a heart shaped pizza for two! Ahh I can feel the romance in the air!
3. Fortune Ball
“I can see our future. Oh, yes, there we are. Big house, pug, and two cute little munchkins running around in the backyard.” Oh, you actually meant it when you said to stop texting you? Wait, so this is over then? What do you mean it never was a thing? Oh, so I made this whole thing up in my head? What do you mean you don’t even know my name?!
4. Helicopter
For when your boyfriend is Christian Grey and he flies you to your dinner reservation.
5. Eggplant
Uh, how did this one get in here? What does it even resemble? Oh, whatever, bonus!
6. Crown
I am royalty. I am queen. Chocolates, teddy bears, love letters; NAY, just give me it all!
7. Baby chick
Give me a hug you cutie pie!
8. Nervous Sweat Emoji
Wait, it’s Valentines Day? I still don’t have a boyfriend? Do they sell them somewhere? Is there a 256-to-go for boyfriend delivery? Hmm, I guess I can just try again next year?
Phew! I think I got them all this time! Let me know if I missed any- tweet us @HCSouthCarolina!