Family day. November. The fourth Thursday of the month. The memorable end to the Fall season. Turkey day to some. Thanksgiving to all. The two major Fs… family and food.Â
Every year, my family has done some variations to Thanksgiving. All of them have been in a traditional standing until now. They all have included the prime time members as I like to call them. My mom, dad, sister, and of course, me. The fours Js, Jocelyn, Joseph, Joi, and again me, Jess (and honorable mention, my dog Freddy JASPER).Â
Every year the items on the grub menu are usually the same. Depending on how big the guest list is, we may pull out more classics. For some reason, despite having moved like eight different times, we usually seem to be the house in the family that “throws” the big turkey day hooray. I think a cool thing that may or may not be common amongst different families, is the delegation of certain delights. Everyone has their signature dish that they cook. In my family, the turkey and sweet potato pie goes to my dad. Most of the sides go to my mom, with emphasis on the collard greens and mac and cheese. My sister gets the cheesecake and the chicken. I get the lucky job of helping out with all of the above. Our family has since grown,with the addition of my brother-in-law, Andy. He adds in a little something from his British background.Â
Last year was when the new traditions really started to pick up. We were never the Hallmark family who had matching shirts and things for these occasions…at least not for Thanksgiving (Christmas is a different story). Last year, we decided that holiday dish shirts would be a good idea. Don’t get me wrong, it was very cute, but it was nothing we had done before. My dad, Andy, and I were sweet potato pie and my mom and sister were collard greens. Freddy didn’t get a shirt, maybe next year though. I say this to say, switching up the traditions and trying something new isn’t always a bad thing.Â
This year, it will definitely be the most untraditional of all. The prime time members are being split up. Due to a sucky immune system and bad luck, I will not be returning home to Georgia for this family loving holiday. I am stuck in Columbia because of a surgery at the beginning of Thanksgiving break. My lovely mom will be coming to be with me all week, but the others will be back at home. Yes, that means the dog too. It took me a while to be okay with this divide as I have never not been with the primes during this time, but it gives me a chance to come up with some new traditions. This includes facetiming before we all sit down to eat and maybe even trying to replicate those unforgettable classics that everyone is known for making. It also means staying at my uncle’s, which I’m sure will bring its own quirks.Â
Stepping out of traditions doesn’t mean you won’t have them, it just means you’ll be creating new ones. Families grow in unique ways. The people you grew up having Thanksgiving dinner with, may not be there every year, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there in spirit. The idea of spreading the love and joy around shouldn’t stop because of distance, especially not in the case of family. I may not be with all of them physically but I know they will still be with me. I’m looking forward to trying things differently this year despite the break up of the primes. It may not be a year for the books, but I am thankful nonetheless. That’s what Thanksgiving is all about!