We get it, sharing a living space is hard and, at times, frustrating. Having a roommate isn’t a walk in the park, it’s a team effort to maintain not only a clean and tidy house but also a peaceful and conflict-free home environment. Boundaries need to be set, rules need to be made, and everyone in the living space needs to be on the same page. The root problem of many roommate conflicts is the lack of clear communication between tenants, which in turn allows little aggravations and issues to build tension between roommates until they eventually engage in an all-out screaming match. Don’t get us wrong, having roommates and spending the majority of your time around them can create special bonds that last a lifetime; the only trick is finding a method or routine for maintaining a positive atmosphere and happy home that works for everyone involved. Below are some common roommate conflicts and how to overcome them:
Chores
Ah yes, infamous household chores. Like any household, chores are a must and having an understanding between roommates surrounding them is essential if you want to avoid conflicts. Issues related to chores can be anything from not doing the dishes, not taking the trash out (emphasis on this one), leaving crumbs and debris on the floor and tables, not throwing old food out of the fridge, not vacuuming and dusting, etc. In order for these tasks to get done efficiently and with as little hassle as possible, you need to coordinate with your roommates ahead of time to decide who does which chores each week/day. You could alternate which person does which chore each time or everyone can have their own designated chore, whichever works. In the case that one roommate ends up skipping their chores or doesn’t adhere to the planned schedule, we recommend that you sit down with them and emphasize nicely that it’s important that they do their share of the work if they want to continue to live in a clean and put-together home, and how them not doing their chores is unfair to everyone else who has to pick up their slack. Laziness and lack of motivation will only do you harm in these situations, get your chores done and avoid the drama.
Visitors
A main aspect of living with roommates that can quickly turn into a problem is when they invite guests over who like to stay too long. This conflict is not only common but hard to solve because everyone who pays rent is entitled to have guests over. In most cases, the guest that has overstayed their welcome is usually a roommate’s significant other whom they want to spend as much time with as possible. Problems like this don’t usually happen overnight, most people would be cool with it if their roommate wants to have their boyfriend or girlfriend over, it’s only when the duration of the guest’s stay increases and they start to literally “make themselves at home” that tension starts to build and arguments start to occur. It’s not fun having an extra person constantly in your living space, especially when they start to feel like it’s theirs too. So, how do you deal with having an extra roommate you didn’t sign up for? The bottom-line answer is to have clear communication with your roommates, preferably before the problem even happens and when the significant other is not around. Since this is an emotional problem and not a physical problem like doing chores, compromise is the only solution. You can make a deal with your roommate that the guest can only stay for a certain amount of days or can only visit on certain days. It’s not exactly ideal, but it will save you from altercations down the road.
Personal Space
Having a roommate can be a great source of companionship, especially when your roommate is your lifelong bestie or a close friend, but even best friends need some space sometimes. When you’re living in a confined space with someone else, it’s easy to grow tired of constant interaction; everyone needs some alone time. The only instances that this is really an issue is when your roommate doesn’t feel the same and wants to be constantly around you or in the same room as you. It’s hard to tell someone that you need time and space to yourself, whether it be to study or just relax. You don’t want to hurt your roommate’s feelings and it can be tricky to describe how you’re feeling to them without them getting offended or hurt. The easiest and simplest way to fix this is to explain to them that you need to focus on yourself (or your homework) without distractions, but you still love them and you promise you’ll spend time with them later. It can be uncomfortable having to tell them this, but as long as you emphasize that it has nothing to do with them and that you simply needed time to yourself, they should understand and respond to it well.
We hope that these scenarios and solutions help with any roommate struggles you may be facing, but if you’ve tried all these tactics and nothings seems to be working, it may not be meant to be and you should contact your leasing office or RM for further assistance.