If there was a way to go back in time and tell yourself the things that you know now, would you do it? What would you want your younger self to know? In life, situations arise and people come into your life at different reasons to leave an impression and teach you something good or bad. These experiences are important to have. However, if you could, what would you tell your younger self to avoid some of the self-doubt, heartbreak, mistakes, etc. Here are the responses from a survey of different women at SPU:
1. Have more confidence in yourself.
Having confidence is key to success. If you have to, then fake it till you feel it. If you don’t believe it at first, keep telling yourself you are beautiful and successful, and eventually you will believe it. Have more confidence in yourself. Self-reflection is healthy but self-doubt is not. Confidence is beautiful, cockiness isn’t. Find the midpoint between confidence and boastfullness and let your true beauty shine though.
2. You don’t ever have to settle for the right boy.
Make a list of values of what you will accept and not accept from another person in a relationship and stick to them. Understand that in any relationship, there will need to be compromises, but hold your standards and do not compromise the things that are most important to you. Hold your values and the right boy will like you for everything and all that you are. Do not settle.
3. It is important to work to learn the value of a dollar, but remember that money doesn’t buy happiness or experience.
Yes, it is extremely important to work and to understand how much it takes to be an adult, how much things cost, and what it means to work for what you want. However, remember that money isn’t everything. Make sure to take time off for yourself and spend time with your family and friends because without them, money is nothing.
4. Trust your gut.
ALWAYS trust your intuition because most of the time, it is right. If a situation feels uncomfortable, be cautious. If a boy feels like bad news, be aware of the signs and trust your feelings to avoid heart break. If you come to a crossroad in your life, think logically about the pros and cons, but lean on that intuition of yours.
5. Don’t give power to situations that do not deserve it.
Sounds easier than it is unfortunately. Do not give power to situations that do not deserve it. Try your best to focus on the things in your life that bring you joy and avoid dwelling on the parts that remind you of hurt. The more you dwell on them, the harder they will hurt. Move forward.
6. You will not have to prove that you are “good enough” to your true friends.
Your friends that love you will love you for all of you; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
7. Don’t give your time to people that do not make time for you.
Do not dwell on those that do not want to spend time with you. The street works both ways and if you are the only one putting in effort, then decide to move on. No one likes to feel unwanted and that is understandable, but do not let that person have power over you and stop you from enjoying your life or spending time with people that do love you. People make time for those that they want in their life. If it is a friend, make an effort to spend time with them, and if it doesn’t happen (especially in college) understand that people are busy and move forward kindly. If it is a boy, he will make time for you if he wants to. If he wants to ask you out, he will. Don’t chase those that don’t want to be chased.
8. Find happiness within yourself first.
You are responsible for your own happiness. Do not blame your unhappiness on others. Yes, there may be some people in your life that make you feel unhappy, but it is your job to remove yourself if that is the case. On another note, if you are not happy with yourself first, you have the power to change that. Only you can decide that you want to be happy.
9. Listen to your mom, sometimes she’s actually right.
The advice that your mom gives you when you are younger typically doesn’t stick, but as you grow up, you will see where she was right. Take the experiences that she tells you, those endless stories, and listen to the lesson she is trying to tell you. Listen to the situations that she has been through to protect yourself from those same mistakes and heartbreak. She wants to protect you, and as hard as it is to believe it, mom knows best.
10. Everything is going to be okay.
It may not feel like it at this moment in time, but everything will be okay. You are going to grow seperate from some friends, have arguments with your family, get your heart broken (over and over again), feel alone, doubt yourself, and possibly lose loved ones. But, nothing is permanent, everything is temporary. In those times of sadness or doubt, think about the person you want to be instead. Think about the other times you felt like this in your life and how you got over them, realizing now that they are less than how they felt at the time. You will be okay and life will bring experiences and people than are better than you could have imagined.