Olivia Rodrigo put it elegantly, “If someone tells me one more time, ‘enjoy your youth,’ I’m gonna cry.” But make it, if someone asks me one more time, what my plans are after graduation, I’m gonna drop out and move off the grid. Just kidding! But wow am I so sick of that question. I’m here to hopefully offer some encouragement and possible ways to answer this question without feeling like you’re pulling out your hair.
First off, to anyone who’s asked a college student or anyone in their twenties this question respectfully, what is wrong with you? Do you not remember what it was like to be swamped with assignments and have the stress of internship searching and job applications on your mind? Of course, having a plan is good and I am no stranger to being an ambitious planner, but this question is so infuriating and leads nowhere. Let’s express interest in people’s lives in other ways. I get that you probably were trying to spark some small talk but you’re actually initiating an existential crisis for this twenty-something.
Maybe ask what interests me or something about the present. College already feels like a blur of activities all forward-focused. It’s like you’re set on a four-year conveyor belt that increases speed exponentially every year. As a junior, I’m feeling the whiplash. I honestly can’t remember when someone asked me something about what I’m currently doing in school; it’s always about the future, which, news flash, is as big of an unknown to me as it is to you. Even people with their five-year plan ready to go in a perfect elevator pitch don’t actually know how things are going to pan out.
Here are my strategies to answer this question and how to avoid an existential crisis.
- Redirect the conversation to something about the present that is known in your life and that you enjoy. Oftentimes, the people asking just want to generate conversation about your life.
- Admitting you don’t know isn’t bad. Let’s be real, we’re all winging it at life and no one really knows what they’re doing. This is simultaneously terrifying and comforting. I especially hate saying I don’t know because it makes me feel like I’m behind or lazy. But if you’re like me, you’re probably quite driven and forward-thinking, you’re just not a prophet. Lean into the things that excite you and interest you. Challenge yourself not to get too lost envisioning the future.
- Take it all with a grain of salt. Who’s asking the question? Is it your mom where you maybe can be more vulnerable about your fears or is it that neighbor you barely know and have no relational capital with? If it’s the latter, then saying, “I’m considering data analytics” is fine even if you only ever took one data class and really have no idea how that will play into your future career.
Confession:
I’ve actually found myself asking people in my classes this very question and then I laugh at myself for breaking my own rules. However, I really do think this question coming from a fellow student, who is in fact in the trenches with you, really is different than when any professor, supervisor, mentor, or parent asks. There is a sense of shared stress and anxiety about the future that almost makes asking this question to a fellow student cathartic.
I don’t want you walking away from this article thinking I don’t think it’s good to plan ahead or talk about future plans with people. I just want to articulate this dreadful and panicky feeling a lot of students have when these conversations come up. Let’s all agree that this question should maybe be given a rest.