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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at St. Andrews chapter.

I used to be anti-long-distance, but I think everyone should be in a long-distance relationship at least once. For one, it builds character development. The other reason is that itā€™s a sort of testament to the strength of any relationshipā€“not necessarily just a romantic one.Ā 

Almost every friendship in my life has evolved from a daily, in-person relationship to a long-distance one and, in some cases,ā€“ to a yearly birthday text to not speaking at all. Thereā€™s a misconception that long-distance never works, yet many people donā€™t realize it only works if you want it to. My best friend (from my first day of high school) and I keep in touch regularlyā€“updating each other on our new independent college lives with names we canā€™t recognize and experiences that seem foreign. Over the years, if Iā€™ve learned anything about long-distance (romantic or not), itā€™s that the moment you physically separate yourself from a person, true intentions surface, as well as your own. To some extent, that distance is vital in understanding how much effort two people are willing to put into a relationship. Nevertheless, why canā€™t these long-distance friendships be as exciting as romantic ones?Ā 

Letā€™s face it, any long-distance relationship comes with doubt. Being thousands of miles away from someone you love is far from painless. Let alone being thousands of miles away from somebody youā€™re just beginning to develop a connection with. The echoes of your single friends saying, ā€œI could never be in a long-distance relationship.ā€ ā€œThey never work out anyways.ā€ You canā€™t seem to subside the looming thought that, what if you invest so much of yourself just for them to be strangers againā€“ to a yearly birthday text, or maybe to not speaking at all? How do you overcome that wall of uncertainty and cynical expectations society has set for long-distance relationships?Ā 

Make an effort to communicate

This may seem obvious, but itā€™s truly the secret ingredient to maintaining and developing a connection with someone you arenā€™t able to see regularly. It can be overwhelming to balance a relationship while making time for your academics, friends, and personal needs. Communication doesnā€™t necessarily mean talking every day at all hours of the day. Itā€™s understanding that there will be days or weeks when you donā€™t speak as often simply because of a heavy workload or schedules not aligning. Distance is one barrier, but time zones can sometimes feel like youā€™re a universe apart. It can be frustrating when schedules clash, and it may feel impossible to find time for your significant other while maintaining your sanity. Maybe your day begins when your partnerā€™s day is reaching its end. This is where scheduling a timeā€“at least once a week can be a game-changer. Arrange a time away from all the chaos to talk for an hour or binge-watch your favourite Netflix series together through a Netflix party. Valentineā€™s Day is just around the corner, and there are so many ways that you can celebrate with your S/O, despite the distance. Surprise your loved one by sending them flowers or ordering them their favourite food.

But weā€™re human. And part of that means that things are almost never in our control or unfold how we expect them to. So, if you find yourself liking someone but are held back by the fact that they live thousands of miles away, if you really want to make it work, take the leap. It might be difficult, but sometimes, the most challenging things in life are the most worth doing.

Rida Shahbaz

St. Andrews '27

I am a first-year at the University of St. Andrews, and this is my first year writing for Her Campus. I am majoring in Neuroscience but I love writing, whether poems, short stories, or articles. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to continue my passion for writing through Her Campus. I grew up in Dublin, Ireland, but now live in Canada in a small town an hour north of Toronto. Growing up, I moved houses and cities a lot, so my idea of ā€˜homeā€™ was constantly changing. This sort of led me into an identity crisis where Iā€™d often feel like I was in limboā€“not particularly belonging to one place. Something that remained a constant for me was writing; it was a way for me to trap my thoughts in time. In all the impermanent aspects of my life, I could cage my words onto paper and create a home between the spaces of each sentence. Through my writing, I hope to make a difference, albeit it is as small as making someone laugh, cry, or both. I truly think there is something so beautiful about moving someone with words. Being a woman of colour and being raised in different parts of the world, I often sought comfort in reading and listening to the experiences of other women. Her Campus allows me to pay that forward and hopefully reach an audience that longs to feel understood.