Simon Pepper is a fresher studying English, French and Spanish, and plays for St Andrews’ men’s hockey club. He also has his own radio show, ‘Under the Covers’, on STAR, St Andrews’ radio station, entertaining us with great chat and music every Friday at 6pm. His quirky sense of humour and resemblance to Joseph Gordon-Levitt make him very approachable, and everyone I’ve asked has described him as a ‘great’ or ‘cute guy.’ He has no time for fashion trends, reading an article about menswear shows in Milan over my shoulder and saying “I don’t understand, isn’t fashion supposed to look nice? That doesn’t look nice.” If you’re looking for a way to win his affection, buy him a jazz apple or a jar of artichokes seasoned with olive oil. You’ll have his heart.
I asked Simon if I could interview him for ‘Her Campus’ last week after he’d returned from a lads’ night out at the pub watching golf. Expecting him to refuse or make a weird joke, I was pleasantly surprised when he said “I’d love to.” The following week he knocked on my door and strode confidently into my room, commenting sarcastically on the ‘lovely view’ from my window (my room looks out onto Lumsden, University Hall’s less than beautiful, modern building.) I started the interview with “Why did you decide to go to St Andrews?” eyeing him as he swivelled around the room on my chair. He replied, “I didn’t get into Oxford”, and then quickly followed this with “I didn’t actually apply to Oxford. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go. My brother goes there, so I guess that would’ve made me a copy animal, you could even say a copycat.” A perfect example of his wit. He continued, “If zombies come for me, there is a secret bunker fifteen minutes away from St Andrews which I could hide in.” He would take a jazz apple tree with him because “jazz apples are just so good,” he put his head in his hands while talking about the sweet, crisp fruit, “and they’re a well-rounded product, the texture and flavour making them the best fruit there is.”
He knows a lot about bird species, “I think it’s nice knowing vaguely what birds are when they’re around you. I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but the winter migrants (swallows, swifts and martins) have returned this week.” However, he admitted that his fear of domestic abuse was the real stimulant for this interest, “I used to spend a lot of time with my granddad, and if there was a bird singing, he would ask me what species it was. If I didn’t know, he would clip me on the ear.” As well as loving apples and birds, he likes watching films. He doesn’t like clubbing, but admits that going out with friends has its advantages, “If you have lots of photos on Facebook of you going out, you look pretty cool, don’t you?” clearly mocking social networks, but without a hint of jest in his facial expression or tone.
He doesn’t really like St Andrews’ restaurants, but was very enthusiastic about ‘Rick Stein’s Seafood Restaurant’ in Padstow. “It was a delight, tastefully appointed. The staff was friendly, but not too friendly.” He hates the “How are you guys doing tonight?” He also enjoyed the fresh local produce and being close to the sea, while appreciating the restaurant’s low carbon footprint, “In every bite you could just taste the low carbon and feel good about yourself.” Despite loving seafood, he is afraid of eels, describing them as “like snakes but slimy and muscular.”
When asked if he had any hidden talents, he said “Wait for it”, turned around and turned back to me with his tongue folded behind his front teeth. He then added, “I play the cello a bit, I play the piano a bit, I sing a bit”, a very modest reply for someone who used to be in a band and is Grade 8 on the cello. However, he is clearly very proud of his blood type, “I’m O negative. I can give blood to anyone.”
“Which is more important, looks or personality?” Simon replied, “Absolutely looks”, before hesitating, “I could never just say looks could I?” He then concluded, “You don’t want someone who makes you feel physically sick because you have to spend a lot of time around them. However, I wouldn’t choose someone who would show me up. Robert Webb is a happy balance. He seems like a very nice man who is fun to be around.” However, if he could be anyone, he would be Ewan McGregor, reasoning, “He does a very good impression of a heroin addict, a useful skill, and has very nice hair and endearing eyes.”
Simon wants to be either George Clooney or an accountant when he’s older, “My heart is set on being an accountant because I think it’s the kind of profession with a lot of opportunities to use your imagination.” He is clearly joking, but it’s very hard to tell unless you know how his humour works, once he tried to convince me that his middle name was Jared five minutes after saying he hated the name. He carried on this mockery of accountants’ lifestyles, “I did some work experience at an accountancy firm and they gave me a laptop that let me control the air conditioning in my area. Where else could I do that?” Jokes aside, he is obviously keen to work hard, hoping to be an au pair on a farm in the Basque country in Spain this summer. He is then going to spend a few days in France with his family, before hitchhiking through the Pyrenees with his brother.
I think most people would agree that Simon is a popular guy in University Hall, but he maintains that he finds it very difficult to make friends, “I like loads of people, but people seem to reject me. It’s pretty troubling.” His favourite people are Sharon the dinner lady, his parents, his uncle Randolph who makes inappropriate jokes at funerals and a friend who he went travelling with last year, “He may have annoying habits like clicking his fingers and not shaving, but I admit (grudgingly) that he is my favourite person.” Despite feeling rejected from University Hall’s community, he admitted, “I like University Hall because it’s really well heated and has an ample supply of hot water. My parents are stingy with water. I like my room and the view from it. Lumsden is a bit of an eye sore, but I don’t have to look at it.”
He struggled to name his favourite band, “I am far too cool to have a favourite band. I go through phases.” He quickly changed his mind, “I do actually have a favourite band. It’s called ‘Snarky Puppy.’ I went to see them in Edinburgh with a lot of the boys. They didn’t enjoy it quite as much as I did. Their songs have no lyrics, quite a lot of jazz, soul, pretty niche I suppose. The bass player does the most amazing movements with his head when one of the other band members is soloing.” His phone buzzed. The boys were all meeting to drink some weird green tea an Uruguayan JSA from last semester had sent them that day (how cute!) He stood up, wished me good luck with my article, and left with the words, “Try not to make me sound like an idiot. It will probably be hard not to.”