The St. Andrews Dating Paradox: When Your Pool is Small and the Matches are Familiar

Welcome to St. Andrews, where dating is less about romance and more like a never-ending reality show episode. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to swipe right only to realise your “perfect match” is actually your friend’s flatmate, you’re in the right place. Here, it seems every romantic prospect comes with a side of familiarity and a sprinkle of discomfort.

Let’s get straight to it: dating in a small town can be awkward. You match with a cute guy and start chatting. You ask the classic question: “What are you studying?” He replies, “I’m in your program. We have class together every Thursday.” Great. You try to laugh it off as a joke, but now you can’t look him in the eye on Thursday, all because you forgot to check the class roster before swiping right. 

The next guy sends you a rose—how romantic, right? You are showing his profile to your friends at coffee when one of them casually mentions that he’s her flatmate, the same one she’s ranted about for weeks for leaving his dirty dishes in the sink for days. She tries to assure you he is a nice guy and you should give him a chance, but you hate dirty dishes. You have determined the romance is doomed before it even started, and you cancel the date. Now, you have to avoid your friend’s flat. 

The Mind Games of Dating

Let’s talk about preconceived notions. You’re about to go on a date, but before you’ve even stepped out the door, you’ve built a mental profile based on everything your friends have told you. Sure, he might seem interesting online, but you already have a picture of him from every group project and secondhand story you’ve heard. “Oh, that’s Tom! The guy who won’t stop talking about politics and thinks he’s so insightful.” By the time you sit down for coffee, you’re already mentally preparing for him to drone on about Brexit while you nod politely, hoping for a swift escape.

And then there’s the moment when your friend shows you a picture of the guy she’s getting coffee with later that week. Surprise! It’s the same guy you went out to coffee with two weeks ago. Now you must endure the double whammy of realising that your dating life is a communal effort, complete with group chat commentary and live feedback. “Oh, you went on a date with him? How was it? Did he use that same line about how he’s ‘really into personal growth’?” Cue the eye roll.

Love Under a Microscope

And if you think coffee dates are a safe bet, think again. Picture this: you’re trying to enjoy a casual coffee and first date small talk when you spot your friend at a nearby table studying. Thirty minutes of awkward small talk later, she’s firing texts your way that are less supportive and more like a reality show commentary. “He just mentioned his collection of sneakers… is that a red flag?” The pressure is real; suddenly, it feels less like a date and more like a poorly executed social experiment.

The small-town vibe and limited number of first date options mean there are no secrets, and your dating life quickly becomes a spectacle for all to witness. Your romantic endeavours could easily be packaged as a cringe-worthy docuseries titled “Love in a Fishbowl.”

Friend Zone Anxiety

The looming spectre of the “friend zone” adds an extra layer of anxiety to dating in a small town. Go on a date with someone, and it doesn’t go well? Better believe you’ll see them again. Maybe at the pub or the library, where you’re forced to navigate a minefield of small talk and awkward silences. And, of course, it’s always the one time you leave the house in joggers and unwashed hair that you run into them. “Oh hey, remember that time we went on a date, and I spilled an entire glass of wine on myself just to get out of there?” Yeah, me neither. You start avoiding certain places because running into your romantic past is just too uncomfortable.

When your friends ask how the date went, it’s not as simple as “fine.” Instead, you’re dissecting your evening like it’s a Shakespearean play. “What did he wear? Did he pay? Was it a hug goodnight or a kiss?” Your life has become a source of entertainment for your friends, and suddenly, dating feels like a public service announcement. 

Embracing the Absurd

In the end, the St. Andrews dating scene may be a mess, but it’s our mess. The constant run-ins and recycled dates make for stories you’ll laugh about long after you’ve left this town. Like the time I spotted two familiar faces from Hinge in the same aisle of Tesco and had to make a quick escape before things got awkward. So, the next time you recognize your match from a seminar, just smile, roll with it, and remember—it’s all part of the St. Andrews charm.

• #dating
• smalltown
• unilife