Tough Conversations: How to Talk Politics with Family

Every year, the holidays give everyone the perfect opportunity to spend time with family they may not often get to see. People embrace warm gatherings filled with great food and loved ones with open arms. However, there may be some baggage that comes with those gatherings that isn’t quite so welcome: politics. 

While those awkward political hot takes always seem to wiggle their way into conversations over Thanksgiving turkey, in the wake of the recent election, things may be extra tense this year. 

Striking the balance between standing by your opinions whilst making sure to not ruin the whole night can truly be a challenge. Here are some tips and tricks on how to navigate those awkward political conversations with your family members over the holidays. 

1. Set boundaries

Sometimes the best thing to do in this scenario is to stop the conversation before it’s even begun. While sometimes this can be a challenge, especially when particularly provocative comments are made, it’s okay to kindly ask to talk about something else. If you are particularly passionate about the topic, you can also suggest having the conversation at a different time and place, bearing in mind the current event. 

2. Asking is better than assuming 

If someone says something that catches you off guard, engage in curiosity before immediately jumping to judgement. Ask questions about why they think that way and how they came to that conclusion. Often, the person may just be misinformed and it can be a good opportunity to educate rather than criticise. 

3. Be compassionate 

Whilst setting boundaries can be useful, often these conversations are inevitable. In this case, the discussion will be the most productive if you listen and try to understand, rather than attack. Usually, when someone doesn’t feel heard, they get defensive, and the conversation more aggressive. Be ready to listen and question rather than jumping to insulting their character. 

4. Don’t be afraid to disengage 

If boundaries don’t work at the start, that doesn’t mean that they can’t later on. If the conversation was productive in the beginning, but you end up going in circles and notice that time is getting away from you, be ready to suggest ending the conversation or tabling it for another day. This is especially important if you feel the conversation starting to spiral into a heated argument. 

5. Centralise the conversation around commonground 

Find a way to bring the conversation back to similarities rather than differences. If you can draw comparisons between the two sides, the person may be more likely to listen to what you have to say. Highlighting that you have the same goal in mind will humanise both of you, and ultimately lead to a more beneficial outcome of the conversation for both parties involved. 

While the holidays can lead to some unwanted political tension, it doesn’t have to be as stressful as it seems . That’s not to say it’s not important to stand up for your beliefs, and sometimes having these conversations in the moment can be really constructive. However, if you’re feeling the discussion heading in a lengthy downward direction, hopefully these tips can help avoid some hostile interactions that kill the mood. As the months get colder, and time spent with family increases, don’t let political scuffles stop you from enjoying good food and having fun with your loved ones. 

• election
• holidays
• politics
• thanksgiving