I never thought I’d be the kind of person interested in travelling on my own. Regardless of peoples’ stories of adventure, excitement, and maybe just peace, I had convinced myself it wouldn’t be the kind of thing someone “like me” would do. It simply never appealed to me. Spending an extended period by myself, with only my thoughts and whims for company, seemed like too much effort. Why go on vacation by myself when I know that travelling with others keeps things dynamic, and interesting, and provides constant interaction if not entertainment? I’m not sure where along the line I changed my mind about it. Maybe as I’ve gotten more comfortable in myself and everything that comes with me, I’ve realised that spending time by myself should seem less daunting and more fun. Spending this past week travelling around the UK completely by myself was the ultimate test of this as my first experience travelling solo.
Even though I would consider myself an introvert, the silence that came along with solo travelling did not come naturally at first. Sitting down for my first proper dinner by myself was jarring: No one to talk to, no distractions, nowhere to focus my gaze – just me and the food. I’ve eaten out by myself before and even gone to restaurants for proper meals solo, but the initial realisation during that first dinner of “this is going to be how it is for the next six days” was a surprisingly hard hit. I realised I had no prior experience of anything like it, I had never relied on my company alone for entertainment, and I was honestly unsure how to go about learning to enjoy it. But I had no choice because, after all, I was on a trip by myself and it was only the beginning.
Having to entertain myself, although incredibly intimidating that initial dinner, slowly became second nature. I had never once before had that much time to journal and read, and coincidentally I had never once before realised how much I liked doing both of those things. I made a conscious effort to not go on my phone randomly when I was bored, not to listen to music or podcasts when I was walking around, but to just invest myself in either thinking about my surroundings or just general life to later write down in my journal, or to dedicate time to reading for joy. Although it definitely was a conscious effort at first and I had to force my hand a bit to make these things habits, two days in I was whipping my journal out randomly on the street to write something down and was sitting down on a bench to read when I had a couple of minutes to spare. I cannot stress enough how much I genuinely loved it and how grateful I was to have the opportunity to learn that I loved it. And even though I was by no means journaling and reading 24/7 for a week straight, I simply learned how to spend time by myself, my thoughts, and my wants and wholeheartedly find it exciting.
By the time I mastered the art of spending time with myself, I was surprised that I actually felt like I wanted more sustained interaction with strangers. Not that I felt lonely (again, I had a newfound positivity in my self-made entertainment), it just felt like it was fitting to push myself out of my comfort level even more by learning how to chat with strangers. I had conquered one mountain and wanted to move on to the next. Like spending time by myself, prior to my trip, I was never one to make a habit of conversing with random people on a day-to-day basis. I wouldn’t say I’m a shy person. I just never felt an urge to chat with someone I didn’t know when I was by myself, as I’d always resort to either my phone or some other distraction. But again, I found myself by myself for days, needing to learn how I could go about making this a habit (or at least easier).
The one thing I’ve learned is genuinely everyone loves a chat. Everyone loves it when people are kind to them. Everyone loves it when you make an effort to learn a bit about them. And it’s so easy to do this. I started small by asking workers at shops what product they recommended, what their favorite flavor of what they were selling was, or if they had any suggestions for attractions I could visit. I found that sneaking more conversation into interactions I was already having anyway was a great place for me to start, as the conversation starters were already there and all I had to do was make the effort to ask one extra question or make one extra comment. Not only were people incredibly receptive to my chat and questions, but it also made me happier in turn because these experiences were nothing but positive. I eventually plucked up the courage to have a chat with some museum workers about an exhibition, which turned into a hour-long discussion about university, history, and our own life experiences. This conversation would have never happened if I were with a companion, or even if I were less determined to push myself out of my comfort zone and make the effort to really learn some things about myself.
Although my trip is done, it had more effect on me than I would have ever anticipated. I simply learned so much about myself: what I as an individual truly enjoy, what I can push myself to do when I put my mind to something, and also what it is exactly I don’t yet know about myself. Spending time with only myself as the company was eye-opening in so many ways, but it’s also made me excited to learn even more about who I am as a person. I can’t wait to travel by myself again, but for now, I am going to take my reflections to heart and not let the lessons I’ve learned about myself slip away from my everyday life.