Gender is a complex topic and can be difficult to talk about. To make it easier, here’s a little guide to some terms that are important when discussing gender!
-Gender Identity: what gender you personally identify as
-Gender Expression: how you express and present your gender, doesn’t have to follow traditional gender norms
-Biological sex: what sex you were born as according to your chromosomes (male, female, intersex)
-Intersex: chromosomes and/or genitalia that are both male and female
-Cisgender: identifying with the sex assigned to you at birth
-Transgender: identifying with a gender that is different than the one assigned at birth
-Drag King/Queen: performs as a male or female theatrically (not trans!)
-Gender Binary: the belief that there are only two genders, male and female
Let’s go through some different genders that one can identifies as that not many people know about. Remember, these are not all of the genders that are out there, just a short list. The gender spectrum is limitless!
-Gender Fluid: flows back and forth through the gender spectrum, can feel completely male, completely female, a mixture of both, or a nonbinary gender depending on how they feel day to day
-Bigender: feels a mixture of different genders
-Agender: doesn’t identify with any gender
-Genderqueer: doesn’t align with the gender binary (a list can be found here)
It’s important to remember that gender and sexuality are not the same thing! Someone’s gender does not determine their sexuality and vice versa! You should also remember that gender, like sexuality, is fluid and someone’s gender identity may change over time.
There are a lot of things to consider when talking about gender or when talking to someone who is genderqueer. People don’t have to pass as the gender they identify as! They can express their gender however they want. If you’re confused about someone’s gender, ask for their pronouns! Some people won’t use he/him or she/her pronouns. Other ones used include they/them, xe/xis, ne/nir, ze/zis, and many more. If you accidentally use the wrong pronouns, apologize and move on with the conversation. Don’t get angry, blame the other person, or apologize profusely. Also, don’t ask offensive questions. You don’t need to know what bathroom they use, how they have sex, or what their genitals look like.
When talking about gender, especially if you yourself are cisgender, it is important to be open to criticism. You might accidentally say something offensive and someone could call you out on it. Don’t get defensive, learn from the experience and be open to educating yourself. I myself am cisgender so if you notice any inaccuracies or if I’m missing something, comment down below!