Most of us have experienced a breakup or two or five, and here are a few things I’ve learned thanks to that string of unfortunate events…
Delete. Delete. Delete.
Delete them off of your social media accounts- Insta, FB & Twitter- this may take awhile before you work up the courage to do so, but trust me it’s important.
Forgive yourself for the relapses
If you’re human and it was a fairly amicable split, then there’s a good chance both of you will ~hang out~ again, and there’s a lot of shame attached to that. It’s definitely not a healthy habit, but it’s more detrimental to beat yourself up for it. Forgive yourself and try and lessen those relapses. And to be frank, I’ve kept boys in my loop far too long (like years) and it’s not fair to either of the people involved, but there’s a definite comfort in being with someone who knows you so well and it happens.
Spend time with friends
When you’re in a relationship, tons of your time is spent texting/calling/hanging out with your S.O., so after any breakup no matter the circumstances there’s a tangible void and to help cope with it- let your friends be more apart of your life. They WANT to be there for you.
Go on fun dates and have one-night stands
Experience the joy in the single life! Buy cute lingerie and date outfits and download Tinder and/or Bumble and don’t just stay at home swiping and chatting online with cuties- MEET UP. I’m guilty of talking with prospects for far too long expectations are through the roof and dates can’t measure up- swipe/chat/then meet up ASAP. Studies show that our tendency to get stuck in dating app fatigue is caused often by never meeting people irl and suggest you set a time and place instantaneously and I also encourage going that route. And DO NOT compare new people you go out with to the last person you were with, be open to falling for someone completely new and wonderful.
Even doing these things, it’s not going to be easy, there will be days it’ll hit you again like a ton of bricks. And although there may be a point in time where that person hasn’t crossed your mind in weeks, I never think it’s smart to “try and be friends” again with someone you loved. In my experience, it’s a hindrance to both of you, but hey there’s always exceptions- so listen to your gut.