“Call It Want You Want” by Alissa DeRogatis is a love letter to all the women out there who thought they could change a man who wasn’t ready to be changed. All the women who struggled to get over a guy they never really dated. If you’ve ever felt yourself in a situation like this, “Call It What You Want” might be just the book you need at the moment. There’s a lot of discourse around this book because many people don’t like it. It has an average rating of 3.39 stars out of 5 on Goodreads, with a lot of bad and mediocre reviews. But I don’t think people understood the message the book was trying to convey.
“All I’m trying to say is that you need to stop losing your mind over someone who doesn’t mind losing you.” – “Call It What You Want”
I had no idea what this book was about when I bought it. I love romance books, and I thought that was what this would be. I would never voluntarily pick up a book about a situationship. When I realized what the book was really about, I kept reading because the concept was new and intriguing. The book follows Sloane as she navigates a complicated two-year situationship with her love interest, Ethan. The book features a dual POV, so you get insight into both characters’ minds, which was interesting. The book effectively highlights how a toxic relationship can feed your delusions and make you think you can change someone when maybe that person can’t be changed. Being in a situationship may cause a person to lose their critical thinking skills because they’re blinded by wanting to see the good in someone. The author illustrated this concept perfectly. I kept getting annoyed with Sloane and wished I could smack some sense into her. As for Ethan, the main male character, I felt he was insufferable, but at the same time, I felt bad for him because of his upbringing, but that’s no excuse for his behavior. Seeing a relationship like this from a different point of view gives you some perspective about how situationships look to other people.
“It’s so easy to look back and romanticize the good. The laughs, the kisses, the dates, the road trips. But what about the fights? The screaming, the crying, the nights he stormed out of the room and retreated to his own bed. Never documented, hardly discussed. It’s like they never existed. It’s easy to remember the good moments when they’re all we want to see.” – “Call It What You Want”
Overall, I don’t think anyone should go into this book thinking it’s a regular romance book – it’s exactly the opposite. It’s a story about delusion, unhealthy relationships and first loves. I feel like everyone can relate to certain aspects of this book because it’s common in today’s dating culture. Although I felt the book lacked depth and was a bit frustrating, I do think it’s an important read for young women. It showcases how people usually don’t think straight when they are in love and how unhealthy some attachments might be. I think the relationship between Sloane and Ethan was supposed to feel like that.
“Thank you for giving me a story to tell my future daughter one day when she is going through her first heartbreak.” – “Call It What You Want”