Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Emily in Paris. (L to R) Lily Collins as Emily, Ashley Park as Mindy in episode 209 of Emily in Paris
Emily in Paris. (L to R) Lily Collins as Emily, Ashley Park as Mindy in episode 209 of Emily in Paris
Photo by Stéphanie Branchu/Netflix
Life > Experiences

How to Deal with Friendship Breakups

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at St. John's chapter.

Friendships are some of the most cherished relationships we have throughout our lives. Sharing laughs, offering support and finding a sense of belonging in friendships are so important. When bonds like these break, the emotional fallout can be just as painful as, if not more than, a romantic breakup. Whether it’s because of a falling out, going down different paths or just simply growing apart, losing a friend can leave us feeling lost and heartbroken. Navigating these friendship breakups is a challenge that many of us face, especially in a college environment where change is constant. Here are some ways to cope with the loss of a friendship and start your journey of healing and new connections. 

Understanding Friendship Breakups

Friendship breakups can happen from a variety of things, each unique to the individuals involved. Understanding these reasons can help to navigate emotions when friendships end.

 As we move through different stages in our life, interests, values and priorities are bound to change. For example, college introduces new experiences and challenges that can lead friends down different paths. What once united you may no longer have the same significance, which can cause a natural drift. This drift can leave feelings of loneliness or abandonment. 

Disagreements are also a completely normal part of any relationship, but unresolved conflicts can escalate and lead to a breakdown in communication. Misunderstandings, if left unaddressed, can build resentment and ultimately drive a wedge between friends. This can lead to feelings of betrayal and frustration for both parties and can end in anger. 

Coping with Friendship Breakups

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

Acknowledge your feelings of sadness, anger or confusion. It’s normal to grieve the loss of a friendship. Journaling can be a helpful outlet, allowing you to express emotions and gain clarity about your experience.

2. Reflect on the Friendship

Take time to consider what the friendship meant to you. Think about both the positive moments and the challenges. This reflection can provide insights into your own needs and desires in future relationships, helping you understand what you value most in friendships.

3. Reach out for support

Lean on other friends or family members who can provide comfort and understanding. Sharing your feelings can help you feel less isolated. Surrounding yourself with supportive people can also remind you of the connections that still matter in your life.

4. Engage in Self-Care

Prioritize activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s exercising, pursuing a hobby or spending time in nature, self-care is essential during emotional distress. Engaging in these activities not only boosts your mood but also helps you reconnect with your sense of self.

5. Stay Open to New Connections

While it’s natural to feel hesitant about forming new friendships, remember that each new relationship has the potential to enrich your life. Attend social events, join clubs or participate in activities that interest you. Embracing new connections can lead to fulfilling relationships that align with who you are today.

Friendship breakups are tough, but they are also an integral part of life. It’s important to remember that not all friendships are meant to last forever; some people come into our lives for a reason, teaching us valuable lessons before moving on. With time, patience and self-compassion, healing is possible. Trust that you will find new connections that align with who you are now. Everything will work out in the end, and the pain of today can pave the way for tomorrow’s brighter friendships.

Emma Chiffriller

St. John's '28

Emma Chiffriller, born and raised in Queens, NY, is a 18 year old freshman at St. John's University. She is studying Psychology and hopes to become a school psychologist to help children who are struggling. Emma has a creative soul and enjoys writing and reading, watching and studying films, baking, and going for walks.